Imprinting

[TNO]

I hate imprinting. I hate the entire idea. I don't find it romantic, I find it creepy and disturbing.
Think about it, for a minute, from the imprintee's point of view. You're a normal girl. Maybe you're single, maybe you're married with kids, maybe you're a five year old who likes to hold tea parties with her dollies. A normal-looking guy walks by, and unbeknownst to you, he imprints. Suddenly, this guy you've never even met before is obsessed with you. He'll do anything to make you love him. You're married? You have kids? This guy will very likely get angry if you don't accept him, and "lose control" and kill or maim your family, just so he can have you. You tell him to zark off? He might "lose control" and attack you (as Sam did Emily). You're only a child, and you want to play with dolls all day? He'll act like the best big brother in the world. He'll never get tired of playing with you. You'll love him like a brother or an uncle, and that's all well and good- until you're legal and he expects you to become his lover. Tell me, would you want to marry your older brother? Would you want to love a guy who attacked your or your loved ones?
It's disturbing from the shifter's point of view, too. You imprint on someone, and suddenly you can't think of anything else. You're happily married or dating? You don't even spare a thought for the person you loved before; you're completely, utterly obsessed with this new person. You're essentially their slave and you don't spare a thought for your former love interest- in fact you may even be surprised when (not if, when) they are hurt and angry with you (as Sam and the rest of the pack were with Leah). You happily humiliate yourself in order to be loved by your imprintee- as Quil was to Claire, as Jake was to Renesmee. You would break all the rules to be with your object of obsession. It's not love; if Sam had really, truly loved Emily, he wouldn't have attacked her when she refused to reciprocate the moment he met her and said, "I love you." I mean, she's known him for, what, ten seconds, and suddenly he's demanding that she fall in love with him, despite the fact that her cousin- his girlfriend- is standing right there? And he's surprised when she tells him to go to hell? Surprised enough that he "loses control" and mauls the person who he has just professed his undying love to? That's not love. That's obsession and lust combined with the mentality of a child who throws a tantrum because he can't have the shiny new toy.
Imprinting... handled properly it could have been very interesting and completely... safe? I mean, say "imprinting" meant nothing more than looking at someone and knowing that they have the potential to be your life mate- somehow knowing that your personalities are completely compatible, and if you wanted to you and the imprintee could have a long, happy life together? That would be fine. But that's not what imprinting is in Meyer's world; no, imprinting is looking at someone and spontaneously rearranging your personality completely and permanently towards someone whose name you do not even know. It's obsession, plain and simple.
I'm with Leah on this one- imprinting is sick and twisted on many, many levels.

[Dovrebanen]

It's not love; if Sam had really, truly loved Emily, he wouldn't have attacked her when she refused to reciprocate the moment he met her and said, "I love you." I mean, she's known him for, what, ten seconds, and suddenly he's demanding that she fall in love with him, despite the fact that her cousin- his girlfriend- is standing right there? And he's surprised when she tells him to go to hell? Surprised enough that he "loses control" and mauls the person who he has just professed his undying love to? That's not love. That's obsession and lust combined with the mentality of a child who throws a tantrum because he can't have the shiny new toy.

I wasn't too excited about impriting either. But I have to disagree with your interpretation of the situation where Sam attacked Emily. I can't remember it being said that Sam attacked her in response to her refusing him. That totally goes against the idea of imprinting. It's not about forcing the imprintee to be with you. It's about making sure that the imprintee is as happy as she can possibly be, and the wolf knows that it can take time for the imprintee to fall in love with them. But in my opinion they wouldn't get mad or attack, they would wait patiently and shower the person with so much attention that she will eventually fall in love with him. She is not being forced, rather she is being charmed into it and truly falling in love. The way I saw it was that Sam happened to phase in front of Emily and accidently hurt her. He certainly didn't do it on purpose as a response to her telling him no. And he felt so horrible afterwards, and he would have to live with what he has done the rest of his life seeing her scars every day. There is no doubt in my mind that Sam really loved Emily.

Having that said, I find imprinting to be worse for the person who actually imprints than for the imprintee. They have absolutely no say in this whatsoever. The imprintee at least gets the chance to fall in love the natural way, by being cared for and paid attention.

[TNO]

Meyer never went outright and said, "oh, Sam attacked Emily 'cause she defended her cousin and denied him... at first," no.
Let's see... from New Moon:

You've seen Emily. Sam lost control of his temper for just one second… and she was standing too close. And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right again. I hear his thoughts–I know what that feels like…

So, Sam lost his temper and ripped half of his beloved darling's face off, to the extent that she apparently looks like she's been mauled by a bear.
From Eclipse:

She was real angry, in the beginning. But it's hard to resist that level of commitment and adoration.

So, in other words, imprinters try to win their imprintees over by never leaving their side and shooting them puppy-glances. Also, this in combination with the above quote make me think that he got angry and "lost control" when Emily got angry at him for dumping her cousin and best friend. This is what appears to be implied; therefore this is the explanation I'm going with. It also seems the most likely time for Sam to "lose control" and attack his "other half".

Werewolves are unstable, Edward had said. The people near them get hurt.

As I said, they "lose control".

"Well, weirdly enough, that was sort of how they resolved things. Sam was so horrified, so sickened by himself, so full of hate for what he’d done. . . . He would have thrown himself under a bus if it would have made her feel better. He might have anyway, just to escape what he’d done. He was shattered. . . . Then, somehow,she was the one comforting him , and after that. . . .

I really don't see how this is romantic. It sounds pretty sick to me, like Sam wouldn't stop moaning and threatening to kill himself, and Emily got scared and told him it was ok... I don't think Emily really loves him. I think she's staying with Sam out of pity and fear that he'll either a)really throw himself under a bus, or b)get angry and attack her again.
Now. About the whole "imprinters don't force their imprintees to love them" thing. They don't- physically, at least (I never said Sam was trying to "force" Emily, not consciously at least. He just "lost control" and she was in the way. Subconsciously I think this was his intent, but he didn't know it). In cases like Jared and his imprintee it's not a problem- she'd been crushing on him for a long time and she was thrilled. It's in cases like Quil or Jacob. Their imprintees are just children, so what do they do? Leave them alone and start courting them when they're legal? ...No. They act like brothers to their imprintees. Since the ultimate purpose of imprinting is reproduction, that means that they are child-grooming. They plan on having kids with the imprintees. Period, end of story.
Also, again, "it's hard to resist that level of commitment and adoration." The imprinters basically act like puppies to their imprintees. They can't stand to be away from them, even for a day. They dote on their imprintees. They do everything in their power (excepting physical means) to get the imprintees to accept them- no matter if the imprintee is married, with two kids and a new baby on the way. Sure, they're not dragging the imprintee away to lock 'em in a closet until they say, "alright I love you! Let me out!". But if the imprintee is unwilling they will probably stalk and bother the imprintee until the imprintee gives in. There is also the whole, "you're my other half! I can't leave you alone! You must love me!" pity-grabbing thing implied here:

And them, Sam could tell her everything. There are no rules that bind you when you find your other half.

My translation: Sam made himself out to be the victim, and tried to gain Emily's acceptance through pity.

[edward4ever]

My take on Sam and Emily's incident is 180 out from other posts I've seen here.

Sam and Emily were already together (imprinted) when he hurt her. I believe he was a young wolf (the First in a very long time) and didn't have full control of his "change" yet, so, he got angry about something (Emily? I don't think so because the object of your imprinting can never do anything to make you angry) and in the beginning wolf's strong emotions cause them to change pretty quickly, and Sam being the only one at the time didn't know how dangerous he was. Maybe they were in the middle of a hug (she was trying to comfort him because he was angry about something) or she was standing right next to him when he changed; and because of her close proximity, he accidentally scratched her across the face (Jake said it's like an explosion--one second you're a man and next your a huge hulking beast!)

And then there's the imprintee. I believe they have their own form of imprinting on the person who imprinted on them. ???
Confusing? Just look at Jacob and Nessie.

Bella comments that when she is watching Nessie's thoughts about when Bella attacked Jake, that Nessie wanted Seth to intercede so that Jake wouldn't get hurt. And that Jake was tied with Bella in Nessie's thoughts. Bella could see the adoration oozing from Nessie.

[vampirenerd]

I agree that I don't think Sam attacked Emily or hurt her because he was mad at her. Like it's been said before Sam was the first of his kind in a long time. He didn't know what to expect or how to control his transformations. That being said I don't believe that Emily is staying with Sam out of pity. She is his imprintee, therefore she loves him. I'm not saying that automatically the imprintee falls in love with them but eventually they do. I don't agree that they are forced to fall in love with them. Their is a certain "pull" that the imprintee feels toward the werewolf also. And you're right, they do dote on their imprintees, they don't like to be away from them, and they do try to get them to accept them. I'm not sure what's wrong with that though. They are in love with their imprintees and they want them to feel the same way. It's like any other relationship. When you like someone you try to do what you can to get them to like you back. Some of them just have longer to wait. And I agree with you Dovre when you said you think it's worse to be the one who imprints than the imprintee. At least when you're the imprintee you get to be "courted" (for a lack of better word). The one who imprints just immediately falls in love.

[TNO]

I'm not saying it's wrong to dote on someone you love. What I'm saying is it's wrong to do so if they don't want you to dote on them. I'm not saying it's wrong to want to be with someone you love- but it is wrong to force your presence upon them if they don't want you around. The implication in the Twilight series is that shifters do just that to their imprintees- they force themselves on the imprintees until they're accepted.

[vampirenerd]

I'm not saying it's wrong to dote on someone you love. What I'm saying is it's wrong to do so if they don't want you to dote on them. I'm not saying it's wrong to want to be with someone you love- but it is wrong to force your presence upon them if they don't want you around. The implication in the Twilight series is that shifters do just that to their imprintees- they force themselves on the imprintees until they're accepted.

Ha ha, sounds like what I remember the guys being like in high school...and college for that matter. I really don't see anything different about the imprinting situation then that of someone in real life who likes someone who doesn't like them back and will do whatever they can to get that person to return their feelings. It happens in real life all the time. Not just in Twilight.

[TNO]

^The difference being, in Twilight imprinting is said to be something greater than true love, whereas in the real world it's recognized as a simple crush... or, in really imprinting-esque scenarios, full-blown obsession or stalking.

[holdingoutforjacob]

My take on Sam and Emily's incident is 180 out from other posts I've seen here.

Sam and Emily were already together (imprinted) when he hurt her. I believe he was a young wolf (the First in a very long time) and didn't have full control of his "change" yet, so, he got angry about something (Emily? I don't think so because the object of your imprinting can never do anything to make you angry) and in the beginning wolf's strong emotions cause them to change pretty quickly, and Sam being the only one at the time didn't know how dangerous he was. Maybe they were in the middle of a hug (she was trying to comfort him because he was angry about something) or she was standing right next to him when he changed; and because of her close proximity, he accidentally scratched her across the face (Jake said it's like an explosion--one second you're a man and next your a huge hulking beast!)

And then there's the imprintee. I believe they have their own form of imprinting on the person who imprinted on them. ???
Confusing? Just look at Jacob and Nessie.

Bella comments that when she is watching Nessie's thoughts about when Bella attacked Jake, that Nessie wanted Seth to intercede so that Jake wouldn't get hurt. And that Jake was tied with Bella in Nessie's thoughts. Bella could see the adoration oozing from Nessie.

Actually, we know for sure that Sam was NOT with Emily at the time of the imprinting, because that's what made him leave Leah. He was tortured, disgusted with himself for breaking Leah's heart, sickened by the fact that Emily hated him, a new wolf without the support of any kind of pack, and was arguing with Emily about all of this.

[edward4ever]

My take on Sam and Emily's incident is 180 out from other posts I've seen here.

Sam and Emily were already together (imprinted) when he hurt her.

Actually, we know for sure that Sam was NOT with Emily at the time of the imprinting, because that's what made him leave Leah. He was tortured, disgusted with himself for breaking Leah's heart, sickened by the fact that Emily hated him, a new wolf without the support of any kind of pack, and was arguing with Emily about all of this.

We know for sure that Sam was NOT with Emily at the time of the imprinting? If he imprinted on Emily, then he had to be with her. ??? I don't follow your reasoning there.

I don't remember anything about Emily hating Sam. It may be in Jacob's story in BD, cuz I haven't read that as much as the rest. Can you help me find where that is, please? The only thing I can find is in NM pg 345 and all it says is that Sam lost his temper and Emily was standing too close.

Thanks