True Love? Reality or Myth

[Knives]

I am so sorry for my habit of vanishing in the middle of things like this; real life bites sometimes.

To answer a few questions: technically you could call me a nihilist, but I don't really fit the bill. I do believe in an inherently meaningless universe, but that doesn't mean that what you do is irrelevant - it just means (accurately) that on a cosmic scale, we're insignificant. For that matter, on a cosmic scale, anything smaller than our galaxy is pretty insignificant. My worldview involves meaning being a personal thing, where everyone gets out of life what they put into it, and I don't consider a higher power to be relevant to it.

That said, I would also like to state that I don't believe that love is an intentionally developed emotion. Love develops on its own, but it develops because you spend time with a person; love is not just there, waiting to happen. It grows in you, changes, evolves, ebbs and flows, surges and fades. Relationships that stay healthy change; ones that are unhealthy remain largely the same. I fully encourage all of you to do your own research on the subject, though I would reccomend a very good book called The Five Love Languages. It helps in a lot of ways.

Now, the question - will I vanish again in two days?

[Angelvamp]

To answer a few questions: technically you could call me a nihilist, but I don't really fit the bill. I do believe in an inherently meaningless universe, but that doesn't mean that what you do is irrelevant - it just means (accurately) that on a cosmic scale, we're insignificant. For that matter, on a cosmic scale, anything smaller than our galaxy is pretty insignificant. My worldview involves meaning being a personal thing, where everyone gets out of life what they put into it, and I don't consider a higher power to be relevant to it.

Hmmm, interesting view, but it seems a tad contradictory. If the universe is "inherently meaningless", than why would you believe anything anyone does is relevant? As far as significance on a cosmic scale, are you familiar with Chaos Theory, popularly known as the Butterfly Effect? I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is "accurate" to belittle the significance of all sentient beings on the planet (or on the Lex, for that matter), however I agree that a higher power may not be involved.

[bac]

I am so sorry for my habit of vanishing in the middle of things like this; real life bites sometimes.

To answer a few questions: technically you could call me a nihilist, but I don't really fit the bill. I do believe in an inherently meaningless universe, but that doesn't mean that what you do is irrelevant - it just means (accurately) that on a cosmic scale, we're insignificant. For that matter, on a cosmic scale, anything smaller than our galaxy is pretty insignificant. My worldview involves meaning being a personal thing, where everyone gets out of life what they put into it, and I don't consider a higher power to be relevant to it.

I feel that the universe is incredible, but we are a part of it and not totally insignificant. And for me, I see it differently, that it is a witness to a higher power being involved. However, at the same time, I completely agree that each of us gets out of life what we put into it. We have to make an effort and not just sit back and let life happen to us.

That said, I would also like to state that I don't believe that love is an intentionally developed emotion. Love develops on its own, but it develops because you spend time with a person; love is not just there, waiting to happen. It grows in you, changes, evolves, ebbs and flows, surges and fades. Relationships that stay healthy change; ones that are unhealthy remain largely the same. I fully encourage all of you to do your own research on the subject, though I would reccomend a very good book called The Five Love Languages. It helps in a lot of ways.

I have heard of that book and heard it is really good. For me I think that love in relationships does take work. It can be easy work and hard work, but we do have to make a conscious effort to "keep the love alive". I like how you said it ebbs and flows. One of the great things about healthy relationships is that sometimes when one person is ebbing, the other is flowing and they can work through that time. At another point the other may be ebbing and the other flowing. But as long as they are both committed to the relationship and committed to loving each other the best they can at the time, then the relationship can keep going.

[Knives]

Hmmm, interesting view, but it seems a tad contradictory. If the universe is "inherently meaningless", than why would you believe anything anyone does is relevant? As far as significance on a cosmic scale, are you familiar with Chaos Theory, popularly known as the Butterfly Effect? I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is "accurate" to belittle the significance of all sentient beings on the planet (or on the Lex, for that matter), however I agree that a higher power may not be involved.

Allow me to try and explain the seeming contradiction with this question: if no meaning is built in, why shouldn't the universe mean what you want it to mean?

And I am familiar with Chaos Theory. However, given that human beings are only capable of affecting the cosmos on a local scale, as of this moment, Chaos Theory's biggest involvement with humanity is the ever-present threat of global annihilation.

Ah, wait, I lie - we did send a satellite out towards deep space (it isn't there yet), constantly broadcasting a message in binary to any beings capable of interpreting it. Which may or may not be a good thing, but it's cool anyway.

And now, back to your previously scheduled topic

[n0vaice]

Hey guys just wanted to share this article I found, cause
I remember we were discussing about "love at first sight".

I think it was way back on page 7.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/do-y ... aIB9ZabqU5

Adieu.

[Asheleyo]

Hey guys just wanted to share this article I found, cause
I remember we were discussing about "love at first sight".

I think it was way back on page 7.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/do-y ... aIB9ZabqU5

Adieu.

The article is sweet and all, but I can't help but imagine that there are a hundred times as many stories of people who thought they loved someone at first sight, but it just didn't work out. These are the lucky couples who felt something very strong when they first met someone and it happened to work out for them. Great for them, but I don't think it's valid to really call it love at first sight, maybe just carnal intuition.

[gamb1t]

Great for them, but I don't think it's valid to really call it love at first sight, maybe just carnal intuition.

I think this is a very good point, and I would say there are millions of more stories about people who thought they had love at first site and ended up hurt from it/separating. Society/Media pushes love at first site, so naturally people are going to look for it. I've had 1 or 2 occasions where I could say the same actually, and even though I'm not with either of the girls, I'm still very close friends with one of them...so who knows, maybe attraction at first site can lead to love...Maybe not relationship love, but platonic love maybe? But then again, attraction at first site more often than not will lead to people not being friends in the end I would think? Good points guys and gals! Keep it up!

[MRK]

OK, so I don't really care what articles or books exsist out there. If love at first sight happens to you, you believe it...if it didn't you don't or you aren't sure if its real. I was in 8th grade the first time I saw my (now) husband and it was love at first sight. No, not a teenage crush, not infatuation...or anything overly dramatic. The moment I saw him I just knew HE was the one. So, I got to know him, be friends with him...we started dating in the 10th grade...we survived a long distance relationship for 2 yrs, and now, 17 yrs later...we're very happily married with three boys. So, it DOES happen
Of course love changes, grows and becomes different things at different times...but when its real it is constantly there.

[Knives]

OK, so I don't really care what articles or books exsist out there. If love at first sight happens to you, you believe it...if it didn't you don't or you aren't sure if its real. I was in 8th grade the first time I saw my (now) husband and it was love at first sight. No, not a teenage crush, not infatuation...or anything overly dramatic. The moment I saw him I just knew HE was the one. So, I got to know him, be friends with him...we started dating in the 10th grade...we survived a long distance relationship for 2 yrs, and now, 17 yrs later...we're very happily married with three boys. So, it DOES happen
Of course love changes, grows and becomes different things at different times...but when its real it is constantly there.

Congratulations on being the exception to the rule ^_^ I wish you a long and happy relationship. However, I'm going to object to the statement, "but when its real it is constantly there." Not...necessarily. There's a reason marriages are a partnership and that some marriage counselors reccomend seeing other people if the relationship seems stale or stagnant. While it seems like you've avoided that (good advice from friends and relations helped, perhaps?), people do fall out of love with each other, and it's also quite possible for them to fall back into love with each other. Love ebbs, flows, and shifts, like any emotion - nothing is absolute.

[Angelvamp]

OK, so I don't really care what articles or books exsist out there. If love at first sight happens to you, you believe it...if it didn't you don't or you aren't sure if its real. I was in 8th grade the first time I saw my (now) husband and it was love at first sight. No, not a teenage crush, not infatuation...or anything overly dramatic. The moment I saw him I just knew HE was the one. So, I got to know him, be friends with him...we started dating in the 10th grade...we survived a long distance relationship for 2 yrs, and now, 17 yrs later...we're very happily married with three boys. So, it DOES happen
Of course love changes, grows and becomes different things at different times...but when its real it is constantly there.

Congratulations on being the exception to the rule ^_^ I wish you a long and happy relationship. However, I'm going to object to the statement, "but when its real it is constantly there." Not...necessarily. There's a reason marriages are a partnership and that some marriage counselors reccomend seeing other people if the relationship seems stale or stagnant. While it seems like you've avoided that (good advice from friends and relations helped, perhaps?), people do fall out of love with each other, and it's also quite possible for them to fall back into love with each other. Love ebbs, flows, and shifts, like any emotion - nothing is absolute.

Knives, once again, I feel compelled to respond to your post. You do not give any real world examples (such as your own, which MRK was only too willing to provide) to support your rejection of MRK's theory of constance. And your "congratulation" of her being "the exeception to the rule" rings wholly false. In fact, it brings to mind a certain fox and a bundle of grapes....
While I agree that people fall out of love with each other, I'm not sure you understand what "partnership" means, in the context of a committed relationship.