Edward Cullen #2

[holdingoutforjacob]

ok but NO ONE SAID JEALOUSY WAS ABUSIVE. lord.

you can make those points over and over and over again all you want guys. but why is it ok for edward to think he has so much control over her? why is it ok for him to dismantle her truck? why?

your friends bf knew with ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CERTAINTY that there would be definite danger. edward did not. edward was terrified by the possibility of the danger.

although, you know guys, SM did say that he was acting out of fear and not jealousy. which makes it excusable, i guess. like, i hate the action, but i don't hate him for it. if it WERE an action out of jealousy, it would be terrible.

pubesy, it seems to me that you think edward's actions were ok? that worries me.

out of curiosity, did your friend's boyfriend try to discuss what might happen with her?

[Jazziscool]

*sigh*

[Amivera]

look at the situation from EDWARD's perspective. Jacob was an infant werewolf who was having trouble controlling his emotions (look what happened to emily), Bella was having constant nightmares about Edward leaving her side, Victoria was on the loose (which Edward blamed himself for), and a pack of hungry newborns were only a city away. Not to mention the Volturi could look for her at any second, and someone had stolen her clothes for her scent - without anyone noticing. and EDWARD blamed himself completely for this mess!

No wonder he felt responsible for protecting bella's safety (she clearly couldn't look after herself).

I don't really feel that in this case you can look at it from Edward's perspective. Abusive people (and I'm not necessarily saying he is one) justify their actions like anyone else— and often times it DOES have a semblance of logic.

It reminds me of a book I read. (I know, I do this a lot, but I feel my points are made best through other fiction)
"Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult. It really showed me that everyone has a point of view and even though it's not justifiable to us, it makes perfect sense to them. (In this case it was shown through a school shooting scenario).

Being jealous is not abusive. What constitutes jealousy as abusive?? Its an annoying flaw but it is not abusive. I think Edward did what he thought was right to protect Bella. But she went along with it. Yea she rebelled a few times but then it finally hit her that she needed to be protected. Let me tell you something about abuse... when someone hits you for no reason, when someone pushes you because you talked to a guy at school, when someone throws a trophy at your head because you caught HIM cheating... constitutes as physical and mental abuse. Dismantling a truck because your afraid your girlfriend, the love of your entire existence, might get hurt does not constitute as abuse.

I'm really, really sorry for everything you've been through. It's not something anyone should have to go through and you have my full sympathy.

I just want to point out that abuse is not necessarily physical all the time. There is emotional abuse, too. (Some say Edward's leaving Bella was a form of emotional abuse).

Sorry, Jazziscool, have some lulz: http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e70/d ... -fail2.jpg

[Jazziscool]

Ha Ha. Hilarious. I'm chocking up. You should be the first to get the Noble Award for being funny(the first, since thats not what they're given it for, in case you didn't know). Or better yet, you should be on your comedy show. *eye roll*

[pubesy]

...

[holdingoutforjacob]

honestly, stealing the keys is something that scares me as well. i didn't want to say it because i was trying to be tactful. i guess i feel that it's different though, because he tried to explain his view, and what should happen. but why didn't he tell you guys what he had heard beforehand?

but honestly, you all were planning on going out and getting plastered and stuff. bella just wanted to see her friend. do you understand the difference there?

maybe this will be easier if i describe what edward SHOULD have done.

he SHOULD have said something along the lines of the following.

"bella, i know jacob is very important to you. and yes, i am jealous of him, but that's not why i'm doing this. your going there really scares me. i worry a lot about what could happen to you, especially since i feel like you're even more fragile now than you were when i first met you, and it's my fault. i am just very worried about you, and trying to protect you."

edward is at fault here for not trying to explain this to her.

bella could have responded by saying that jacob wasn't dangerous, he was her best friend, edward had no right to do this, all of which would be true. bella is at fault here for not trying to explain all the good, solid evidence that points to jacob being able to control himself, and that there isn't any danger.

if edward is still uncomfortable, a good compromise would have been that she go hang out with jacob in a group - like the bonfire - where a lot of people would be there to keep bella safe, or even if they met in public, or something like that. at least until edward is more comfortable with bella being with jacob.

that would have been the mature, thoughtful, non-abusive way to handle this.

as for the balance of power, i think you might be right that bella, in general, had more power over edward emotionally. BUT in this case, obviously, edward held the power. the power in their relationship isn't really balanced until bella becomes a vampire.

[pubesy]

i can understand completely with you that from an outsider's perspective, the relationship, as well as his actions DO seem worrying.

that is understandable.
it is not until you have been in a similiar situation that you begin to understand.
but what is worse? him trying to verbally explain to us WHY we wouldn't go, and then us telling him to back off, and go anyway?

we would have went. we know we would have (as much as we denied it back then). this quite a while ago mind you. They are still together.

we had just turned 18 at the time. 18 year old DO go away and have booze fueled parties. it is normal behaviour.
we have had quite a few afterwards (obviously) both with and without male company (no, not that sort of company ).

so while he was protecting us not from OUR behaviour - but from the actions of others. how is that different from what edward was doing to bella?
protecting her from a perceived threat?

"bella, i know jacob is very important to you. and yes, i am jealous of him, but that's not why i'm doing this. your going there really scares me. i worry a lot about what could happen to you, especially since i feel like you're even more fragile now than you were when i first met you, and it's my fault. i am just very worried about you, and trying to protect you."

NB: Edward had not yet admitted to himself he was jealous of jacob.

Bella: "Edward, there is no reason for you to be worried about me. jacob is not dangerous, no am i in any more danger when i am with him than when i am with you. i feel safe with him. and he is my best friend and i want to see him."

Edward and jacob would never have agreed to hang around together in a social situation. they repulsed eachother. and the whole situation would have just been plain awkward (like pushing to positive sides of a magnet together)
jacob would have brought werewolf mates, and edward, his brothers. DISASTER!

[Jazziscool]

ingnore this

[Edberenjac12]

he SHOULD have said something along the lines of the following.

"bella, i know jacob is very important to you. and yes, i am jealous of him, but that's not why i'm doing this. your going there really scares me. i worry a lot about what could happen to you, especially since i feel like you're even more fragile now than you were when i first met you, and it's my fault. i am just very worried about you, and trying to protect you."

edward is at fault here for not trying to explain this to her.

I agree with you. Edward is at fault for not just coming out and just telling Bella how he feels, but I think there is a reason behind that. In my opinion, since Edward can't hear what Bella is thinking, he is insecure about what to say to her because he wants to do everything in his power not to hurt her again. He is thrown for a loop not knowing Bella's mind, and even when he can guess some things, he is totally confused about others. (We see this in all of the books) He is struggling with a lot of things at once, and in that vampire mind of his he has room to feel ALL of these emotions at once-fear, jealousy, worry, guilt, etc. Imagine the strongest emotions you have ever felt all at one time-no wonder he was freaking out a bit!!! I am not condoning his actions, I think they were a little rash, but he is known for overreaction. The thing I am wondering is though, would Bella have listened to him if he said that? Maybe he knew she wouldn't so he had to do what he could, which might have been a little crazy.

THAT being said...: )

I think that Edward and Emmett have a closer relationship because they have been together as a family longer. Alice and Jasper joined the Cullens out of the blue, and I am sure it took time for them to open up. For Alice I am sure it took no time, but for Jasper I think it took a little longer. Edward loves Jasper in his own way, but I think that Edward and Emmett have personalities that make them perfect as brothers. One thing I wish we had a perspective on is the 3 of them together, like the Bachelor party. Emmett is just easy for anyone to get along with, where as Jasper is a little more reserved. I really like Alice and Edward together, they have a dynamic that reminds me of myself and my brother.

[KaseyHeartEdward]

ok but NO ONE SAID JEALOUSY WAS ABUSIVE. lord.

you can make those points over and over and over again all you want guys. but why is it ok for edward to think he has so much control over her? why is it ok for him to dismantle her truck? why?

your friends bf knew with ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CERTAINTY that there would be definite danger. edward did not. edward was terrified by the possibility of the danger.

although, you know guys, SM did say that he was acting out of fear and not jealousy. which makes it excusable, i guess. like, i hate the action, but i don't hate him for it. if it WERE an action out of jealousy, it would be terrible.

pubesy, it seems to me that you think edward's actions were ok? that worries me.

out of curiosity, did your friend's boyfriend try to discuss what might happen with her?

Totally agree.




Okay now people are saying that edward should have been more open and talked to her in eclipse. This is true i believe. But i think we need to remember that Edward is a guy and they have a hard time sharing their feelings. Even edward has this problem. He was probably scared how Bella might react or he just didn't know how to truly express himself. So when it came to fooling aroungd the truck well i guess this was the only way he knew at the time. Does this make it right? No but it might give us a reason to why he acted this way.


Now i found this part hilarious in the book! And i still do. I really don't see it as meaning to be abusive.