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Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:24 pm
by holdingoutforjacob
Esme echo wrote:You might take a moment to recognize, HOFJ, that I was not excusing Edward's behavior. I was explaining where I thought it came from.
ah you are right, i am sorry. :oops:

i still have to disagree though. i think edward was shown exactly the effect he was having on bella, i mean, she doesn't usually tell him he's doing anything wrong. she told him he was hurting her, and he didn't listen. i maintain that he needed to be shown that his jailer-like tactics weren't working. only then did he relent.

i just think that one of the main issues in bella and edward's relationship is communication. neither of them communicate any feelings towards each other except those of undying love. that's a problem. that's how things like this happen.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:11 pm
by Kachiti
navarre wrote:
Execellent points, Destani. I also want to note, providing that it hasn't been noted in an earlier post, that Edward did realize that his actions would actually endanger Bella more, so he backed off. He may have had some continuing probelms with her being around Jacob, but for the most part, he changed his attitude towards Bella seeing Jacob, especially after he and jacob talked about Bella going to La Push for her safety until they could figure out who was in her room -so forth.

As far as Edward being abusive - NO he was NOT!! Like the person from the earlier post, I too, know what abuse is, I was married to a horrific man for 15 years, and let me tell you, when you can not even meet your best girlfriend for lunch or even dinner to chat and catch up without him calling every few minutes to see where you are and accusing you of being a "Vulgar Language Is Ugly" because your 10 minutes later getting home than planned, having a .357 put to your head with your two year old in your arms. You lose your job and if you are not out beating the concrete everyday, all day, you are lazy and worthless when you just need to rest for a day - you get the point.

That's ABUSE. Always having to live up to the 'slug' your married to while he's the one screwing around, drinking all day and he's laid off and won't get work and then he accuses you?! - the guilty dog barks loudest!! Finally, 11 1/2 years ago, I HAD ENOUGH. Scared half out of my mind with a ten year old and making 7.50/hr - I left and never looked back. There are all kinds of subtle and in-your-face abusive situations, but Edward's crime here is being to controlling(out of fear for Bella) and not handling this right at all.

At the end of the day, he's is still a good man to me and the best thing in Bella's life - faults and all.

BTW, I'm not saying this out of any anger - truly - I'm just trying to make my point for what that was even worth and I apologize for using this wonderful forum to vent in a personal manner.
You have no reason to apologize. Something someone said trigger it or should I refuses to see .
holdingoutforjacob wrote:
ah you are right, i am sorry. :oops:

i still have to disagree though. i think edward was shown exactly the effect he was having on bella, i mean, she doesn't usually tell him he's doing anything wrong. she told him he was hurting her, and he didn't listen. i maintain that he needed to be shown that his jailer-like tactics weren't working. only then did he relent.

i just think that one of the main issues in bella and edward's relationship is communication. neither of them communicate any feelings towards each other except those of undying love. that's a problem. that's how things like this happen.
Talk about wear rose colored glasses. Its one thing to have favorite character and really like them but you seem to have it one step further. You keep saying you understand but honestly I real don't think you do. That being said. I also think that it be in everyone's interest if stopping using the word abusive in your description of Edward's supposed behavior. I know you don't agree, but its having a very negative affect and its the right thing to do.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:50 pm
by pubesy
You keep saying you understand but honestly I real don't think you do.
I don't think ANYONE can truly understand what makes an abusive relationship, unless they have been in one, or have been very close to someone who has (mother, best friend you see every day - not just "i have this friend who...").

i think HOFJ that you are trying to see Edward's actions from an objective point of view, and pulling that one scene as evidence upon its own. however LOVE is not objective, and neither are people who are in them. Humans are not objective creatures. you cant just pull one scene out, and study ONLY that scene, without taking into account all the scenes that lead up to that point.

while you speak of a lack of communication, i agree somewhat, but i believe they were communicating to each other, however, neither were ready to compromise at that point. they were both just as stubborn as each other.

and i disagree with you completely, that edward only gave in to bella, allowing her to see jacob because he realised he had lost control of bella. That is just not Edward's personality. Edward realised that by trying to prevent bella from seeing jacob, he was actually placing bella in a more dangerous position, as she had to make spur of the moment decisions. He also felt horrible that he had placed bella in a position where she had to sneak around behind his back, which was leading to resentment on her part. Edward did not want bella to feel resentful or restricted, or feel that she had to lie to him. He also realised that he was, in part acting upon jealousy. hence for these reasons, he was then able to comprimise with bella - even though he still did not want bella seeing jacob.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:04 am
by Kachiti
pubesy wrote:
You keep saying you understand but honestly I real don't think you do.
I don't think ANYONE can truly understand what makes an abusive relationship, unless they have been in one, or have been very close to someone who has (mother, best friend you see every day - not just "i have this friend who...").
Trust me when I say I get it, otherwise the statement I made to HOFJ would have been meaningless.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:21 am
by pubesy
sorry, K, that was not a dig at you. It was not meant to be a dig at anyone, just a statement.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:55 am
by Kachiti
pubesy wrote:sorry, K, that was not a dig at you. It was not meant to be a dig at anyone, just a statement.
No problem.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:52 am
by Esme echo
Great explanation, pubsey! Thank you for sharing your insight. :D

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:57 pm
by twilight813
lets try and start a new Edward topic if we possibly can.. let me think hmm.. what about Edward's romantic side and the little things he does for Bella.. like the scene where is going to propose and he already has the ring, like basically waiting for her.. so cute. romantic.

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:36 pm
by Jazziscool
twilight813 wrote:lets try and start a new Edward topic if we possibly can.. let me think hmm.. what about Edward's romantic side and the little things he does for Bella.. like the scene where is going to propose and he already has the ring, like basically waiting for her.. so cute. romantic.
That's one of my favorite scenes. But, I thought it was rude when he assured Bella "...I've given some to Esme and Alice both." Jeez, what about Rose? Sure they're not exactly friendly...but still it's rude. :| *dissaproval*

Re: Edward Cullen #2

Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:37 pm
by KaseyHeartEdward
twilight813 wrote:lets try and start a new Edward topic if we possibly can.. let me think hmm.. what about Edward's romantic side and the little things he does for Bella.. like the scene where is going to propose and he already has the ring, like basically waiting for her.. so cute. romantic.


Good idea!

I really loved how Edward took Bella to his secret place. The meadow. I loved it. They were able to be real with eachother. And just be together.