Writers Central

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debussygirl
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Re: Writers Central

Post by debussygirl » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:32 pm

I need help from fellow writers!
So I'm writing this character up and I cannot figure this guy out. I know that his role will basically be just for drama; he's into one of my girl characters and I know I don't want the reader to like him, but I can't figure out his personality so that people won't like him.
I decided he can't be pompous. Not only is it over-done, but it doesn't work for the story.
I don't want him to be weak for the same reason that it doesn't work for the story.
He can't be ugly (my friend suggested that should be enough of a turn-off :roll:)
And I'm out of other ideas.
Help! Even just speaking as a girl (or hey, if your a guy too) what traits drive you up the wall in admirers?
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ringswraith
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Re: Writers Central

Post by ringswraith » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:38 pm

So if I'm understanding correctly, you want to know how to make it so that readers will just not like this guy?

Is the girl he's interested in, returning that interest?

debussygirl
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Re: Writers Central

Post by debussygirl » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:39 pm

Yeah, basically, I just don't want readers to like him.
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ringswraith
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Re: Writers Central

Post by ringswraith » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:41 pm

Can you give us a little more information? Like the setting (high school, college), their approximate age, any details about him that you already know?

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Re: Writers Central

Post by debussygirl » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:46 pm

Well, it's a fantasy book.
He's going to be about 16/17 pursuing a 14 year old (it seems gross, but it's common in their society, they get engaged young and the guys are generally 2-5 years older than the girl). I want to put off on his physical appearance until I have his personality.
He's also going to be a part of their noble class, although not high up in it.
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ringswraith
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Re: Writers Central

Post by ringswraith » Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:56 pm

Hmm. Let me think.

Is she also a noble? If not, you can go with- well, not pompous, since you said it wouldn't work. But more like... accepting while being tactless or saying the wrong thing. For example: "Well you're no lady, but you'll do."

He can pursue her simply because she's pretty, and not care about anything else. Trophy girl, if you will- have him treat her as if all he expects her to do is stand there and look good. If she tries to open her mouth to say something, he will somehow shoot it down (or turn it against her).

Hmm... What else...

He could be overly forward with his affections. Smother her with flowers, be extra-attentive such that she doesn't really get a say in things. "Would you like to ride the ferris wheel? Who am I kidding- of course you'd love to ride the ferris wheel. Let's go!" (particularly if she's afraid of heights).

Is any of this working for you?

brunetterebel010
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Re: Writers Central

Post by brunetterebel010 » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:06 pm

Noble and 17? Make him snooty. Is the girl high class too? If she isn't he could be like, treating her like dirt to hide his interest? Or if she is... idk, just make him snotty and rude and obnoxious. That's always awful.
So does the girl like him back? I missed that info.
Or he could be like stalkerish with it. LIke "I'm so amazing, why wouldn't you want me" But not POMPOUS just a little confident, (it's a weird balance)


NOW! I need opinions-
An idea for a story (short book, not a huge novel PROBABLY) has hit me.
I am going to write it no matter what, but I want to know what people think of the idea before I consider sharing it.
It is about a society set up on Venus (but they have another name for it..) It's like EArth decided to try to populate other places in the soalr system, so they started with Venus because it is similar to earth, they did some stuff to make it liveable and colonized it. MY story is set about 600 years later. Society is well established, it's a little different from Earth's. Everyone has 2 or 3 (I haven't decided) ID chips implanted where EVERYTHING about them is stored. Identity 1 (also the name of the book) is the chip in their wrist. It has their educational history in it, like a transcrip, standarized test scores etc. all in one chip in their arm Identity 2 is a chip in their neck with medical history, Its like a birth certificate/health recordd. and Identity 3 would be likea legal history, thinks like marriages, divorces, their WILLs, police records etc. would be on this one. The basic idea is that they go through testing and the government tells them what career choices they would be best suited for and where they should go to college. They have limited choices but it IS a choice. Then when the main character (Gracie) is graduating from high school, a satellite incident takes place and the information database containing EVERYBODY's Identity 1 information is taken out. This gives Gracie a chance to change her future, because she can lie and tell give them the wrong information as the re-build the database. Most people are totaly sheep to being told how to live, who to marry etc. But Gracie isn't happy with what she was told her life should be.
So the whole book is should she take her life into her own hands or continue being a sheep? and what happens after her makes her choice?

I'm sorry its long... but if anyone read (or scanned) it... what do you think?
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ringswraith
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Re: Writers Central

Post by ringswraith » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:20 pm

It actually reminds me of the film Gattaca.

My question is, what's the conflict? If no one ever finds out about her deception, what will move it forward? Is there even a consequence for going against the recommendations?

brunetterebel010
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Re: Writers Central

Post by brunetterebel010 » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:27 pm

Gattaca?

Pretty much when they go through the testing the government gives them a list that gives them very limited (like 2 or 3) choices of colleges, the same for careers, and later on spouse. Pretty much there is NO way to go against the system, everytime you enter a building it scans your ID chips. They know exactly WHERE you are at every minute of every day. So really, they haven't thought about consequences. That is sort of the point Gracie is a novelty. HOwever I suppose we assume that if someone goes against what they are supposed to do they are punished, maybe by being sentenced to some awful career like changing old lady diapers in nursing homes or something. Useful, not enjoyable. It would sort of be a probation thing. Watched even more closely, forced to conform. That is sort of the point, no one really knows what happens if you go against the rules, because no one has ever really tried it. This is the first big chance, and people are so set in the thought that being told how to live is how life is that no one really thinks about lying. Gracie is unique in many ways.

It is still at a very early stage, not all the kinks are worked out yet, thats why I'm asking for ideas and opinions
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ringswraith
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Re: Writers Central

Post by ringswraith » Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:49 pm

Gattaca is a film where the human gene has been completely mapped, and it's now possible (and commonplace) to engineer your children to become astronauts, athletes, et cetera.

Consequently, those children born naturally are then tested, and they're given a long printout that tells them exactly what they can expect in life: how long they're expected to live, any health problems they'll have, what they'll likely succeed at in life. However, they're also looked down upon by those who are engineered, becoming a sort of lower class because the engineered ones can do everything better.

Your story sounds promising. I do suggest you flesh out what happens to people who disobey the rules. The reader or the characters don't need to know it- but you as the writer do so that you can formulate where the story goes and how it progresses. :)

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