Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by spookybell »

As far as children goes, I don't have any but I have always wanted children. I never wanted to have children just for "fun" - I always thought I'd be married by 27 and children by 30. It never bothered me until I was 30. Now that I am 37, I want kids and have felt that pull towards OMG I am getting old and what if it does not happen since about 33 or 34.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by Openhome »

If you are at all in a place where you can have a child,do so. You never know what will happen, if anything at all. However, I know from personal experience that waiting too long can end badly. Children are not the burden so many people think.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by fanMNM »

I know having kids is such a personal choice...I always wanted to be a wife and a mom. I was engaged 5 days before my 21st birthday. 2 months before my wedding...we found out we were already expecting! I couldn't have been happier. (I was afraid I'd have to get a new wedding dress! LOL But it turned out I was lucky and didn't show yet). My son was 7 months old when I was surprised with the second pregnancy! So, my son and daughter are only 16 months apart. So, as a 26 year old...I have an almost 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. I love them and it's all I've ever wanted, but I have to say I didn't expect wishing I would have had more "me" time before having kids. Every once in a while I miss the days when I could just run to the store or go out with friends at the drop of a hat. Now, I have to find a sitter...or pack up a bag with extra clothes, toys, etc. just to go grocery shopping! LOL I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I do wish I wouldn't have rushed it so much. My husband and I didn't get any time to just be a couple before introducing little ones into the mix...and though we're happy...I do wonder if I missed out on some things.

But I realize there is the other side of the equation, too. We have friends who are in their late thirties who put having kids off and now that are trying, but she is having issues getting pregnant. I know she regrets waiting so long. She feels like her window of opportunity is closed...and she says she has no idea how that mucht ime passed so quickly. She just always felt like she had all the time in the world to have kids.

So, I definitely feel terrible for those who want kids and can't have them. It reminds me just how truly blessed I am.

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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by LadyDi »

I was kind of the opposite of spookybell in that I wanted to have children but I never expected to have them because I wasn't sure I'd ever get married (and I know you don't have to be married to have kids, but for me, that's how I operate - no judgment or scorn to anyone who does differently). I have two kids. The first one came about 3 years after we married, and the second came 2.5 years after that. Between us (that's a pretty big "us"), there are times I see friends with their newborns and I get jonesing for another. I don't think it'll happen but sometimes I wish for a bun in the oven. (Sometimes I don't - like when I am enjoying sleeping in.)
marielle I hope it answers your question. bac says it right - everyone has a different feeling about it. Some never get that yearning. Some have it all the time. Some have it occasionally. Reading Breaking Dawn, despite the less-than-ideal pregnancy, does once in a while stir those maternal instincts. Dunno if it does for the teen audience ...
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by cullengirl »

I haven't given too much thought about wanting kids. I'm 27 and not married. Like LadyDi, don't really know if I will get married. I've known people who are my age and have kids. Some of them had kids for the fun as spookybell mentioned and can't really support them. The couple either lives with their parents or is supported by their parents. Others that have kids truly wanted them and adore them. It depends on the person and really, where they are in life.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by xhopeonaropex »

I think it's a bit too early for me to think about kids. I'm turning 21 on New Years. My family begs to differ and is always asking if there is someone so that they can marry me off and see me having kids. I don't see myself getting married in the next 3 years though. I feel like I'm still not ready and I don't even want a relationship now to begin with. But if I do end up getting married kids would be nice. Not more than 2 cuz then it'll feel like I'm raising the Brady bunch. I know for a fact I'm gonna be a strict mom but also fun. My cousins are great examples because of how I treat them and yet care for them in that maternal instinct kinda way. So they always tell me how I would be as a mom. But yeah thats the thought for the day

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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by bac »

Happy Birthday Feathers!

For your birthday I didn't know if you like preppy or business or maybe a bit of a good bad guy. So I give them all to you. Enjoy!
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by twilightmom »

On having kids... I didn't meet my mate until I was 25. We got married when I was 28. We had no desire to have kids yet - we always said "in a few years" and kept saying that until the time was right for us. We always said that if it did happen, we'd be okay with it (we used contraceptives). After my maternal grandmother passed away in 2002, we looked at each other and realized that we were ready... it took a year and then we were pregnant with our first. I'm a planner, so I liked having "control" of my body and "when" we had kids.

I think if health is a factor, you need to talk with your doctor/s and your significant other. I always think back to the movie "Steel Magnolias" which is a total tear jerker... Just be mindful that there may be other options for you and having kids, if your health would be compromised.

I suggest you look inside yourself and talk with family, doctor/s, counselors/religious leaders - whatever will help you find out what is in your heart and what you want. Good luck... it's a deeply personal decision.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by Feathers »

And with a notification in my inbox about a PM from bac... I rise from the dead. Thank you, bac. Thank you for making me forget, for just a little while, that I'm overworked and underpaid. (As in, not paid at all. Damned school.) It's a nice relief.

Hallo everybody! And right into a topic I can jump into. Perfect.

I'm 22, finishing up my B.S., and because of this (and the fact that I don't have a mate) having children has never occurred to me. I think partially because I am continually a student, in a way I still see myself as a child, and not a grown woman. The idea of having children of my own, though biologically possible, confuses me. I feel like, on some level, I'm not old enough to do it, or I'm not mature enough to handle it, or the basic rules of life say I'm still a kid or something, which is clearly not true. It's utterly bizarre to me to see people I went to high school with getting married right out of high school and having two or three kids by now. And not because I think its bad or too young or anything like that, but because as someone who has perpetually been in school since I was a child, I haven't had the chance to FEEL like I've grown up. I don't FEEL like I've grown into a responsible young woman, capable of dating seriously or having children and starting a family. I think when I finish my degree and actually start working on my own, living on my own, supporting myself, THEN it will seem like it's possible. It's just a very strange realization to me. Sometimes I'll be sitting at home and it'll just hit me - my body kept growing up while my mind didn't because my mind is associating itself with the fact that what I'm doing is what I've done all my childhood - school.

It's... extremely surreal for me to think of myself as a mother, that's all. And I THINK that might be why. Because I don't see myself as a woman yet. And I don't know if that makes sense to anyone other than me. I'm not even sure it makes sense to me.


(I hope I can stick around. Gonna stick this thread on my bookmarks toolbar at the top of the page. Hopefully then I'll at least check in here from time to time, if nowhere else on the forum. I missed y'all. Thanks again, bac!)

<3 Ren

PS - totally hit preview and saw my own Victoria banner and got all inspired to start writing that again. Thank goodness I didn't come back sooner. My schoolwork would be suffering! I missed you all a LOT.
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Re: Gutter Guys & Gals : Full Moon Baking

Post by marielle »

Thanx everybody, for the kind explanations...

I have the problem that I have to keep in mind that I'm a heart patient and what ever I choose will effect my health enormously..
But you have been very helpfull, I'll see what nature will throw at me... ;)
I'm 26 still I have time to think about it....

Feathers happy Birthday.....
I hope you will have a good day with a lot of presents...
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