*Runs in, throws herself down all southern-belle like, and then does her best Scarlett O'Hara impression, all while passing out onion rings and candy necklaces*
Never EVER let it be said Obs does not know how to make an entrance.
Happy HUMP day to all my peeps. I take it literally, so you Twi-boys BEST steer clear, as Code has pointed out---I'll do things to you that are so out there that they don't even have a name yet. Things like rearpossumlotus or Warthogaroundthebend. Scary things. *Rawr!* (flicks out nails, then realizes one is totally chipped, and runs to Janny crying, begging her to fix it)
Speaking of which, I gots me some new nail paint for them there hard bits of my fingers. It's by NYC I think and they have this line that's named after New York places, like Chinatown and East Village. Mine is West Village, and it's a dark dark blue, almost black looking and it freaking rocks. I wonder how these single girls paint their toenails by the way----I have had Ray paint mine (do NOT tell him I told you he does this----it's like an affront to his manhood or something) since forever, because A-I suck at painting anything and B) my gut would totally get in the way. If not the gut, then the boobs. And I'd have to like position myself all weird (or maybe in the rearpossumlotus position) to get to my toes. Heck, I'm just now able to see them again.
To the person who claims to be "therealmrswhitlock" but is really just slummin it with Jackson's road crew, because everyone knows Jack worships the quicksand I walk on- I agree about Vamp Diaries. Damon Salvatore is totes hot, and the whole concern over Stefan (who is sort of a tool in my opinion) is gah-worthy and I swooned like the whole hour. Now.....how to get a vampire from Mystic Falls out of his shirt for an episode....they did it for Stefan, but he was being tortured. Hmmmm.
Paulie, yes, in fact, Jon Bon Jovi totally had a moment with me on Saturday evening. He stared right at me----at least, from my vantage point way in the back in the nosebleeds, he was totally macking on me. So yeah---the seats were WAY in the back, up top, and unfortunately Obs is scared of very few things, but one thing is heights---and apparently "true stadium seating" means "Steepa$$dontlookdownyourfatselfisgoingtofallandbounce". So yeah, I didn't get up and jam nearly as much as I wanted to thanks to this development. And I'd like to also take this time to point out a huge injustice that happens to some people at concerts. It's a growing epidemic, one that I think that should be addressed by maybe Congress or at least the Senate or something: cupholder stealers. Yes, tragic. The tool next to me totally had his cup in my cup holder, I mean, it was clearly mine as it was on MY SIDE and since I was on an end, and ends have no cupholders, do the math and you'll see it was mine. Anyways, scoobydouche wouldn't move his stupid Mr.Pibb or whatever it was that fartknockers drink nowadays, because that would mean he'd have to ask the person next to him to move theirs. I was like "I have a freaking BEER here dude. I'm not even DRUNK right now---this is me SOBER. You really want to deal with this when I'm DRUNK?" Everytime you see a capital lettered word, that's me, in his face, yelling at him. So you know what he does? HE.IGNORES.ME. *puts hand up in a "NO HE DIDN'T* fashion* Yeah, that's EXACTLY how to deal with Obs. Ignore her. So you know what he got for the next three hours? Obs, glaring at him, steadily getting drunker----and talking loudly to Will about the "tool who steals young girls' cupholders" (shut up---I'm still young) and other hilarious quotes. My faves are:
"I don't even want to put my drink in there now. I just don't want YOU to put your drink in there. If you gave it up right now, I'd just stare at it and leave it empty, that's how crazy I am."
"I have no moral compass. I'd be sh***ing myself if I were you."
"I got nothing to lose. Will here brought bail money, so let's go."
Yeah---it was THAT bad. I also took pics of his face every time he turned in my direction (they came out badly, mostly due to the flash that went off in his face EVERY TIME) and I got pictures of his tool cup in my cup holder. He was like "Did you just take pictures of my cup?" I told him in my calmest scary voice "Sure did. By tomorrow, everyone is going to know what you did to George Foreman's daughter."
What? I could totally be his daughter. His really really white daughter. Who is part Pakistani. Shut up!
So yeah, the pics are forthcoming on my facebook page. Should be interesting. He actually looked all relieved there for a minute because the battery in my camera went out, but I just stared at him while I popped it open, licked the end and popped it back in. I had no clue that it would actually work and the sucker would come back to life. It looked freaking awesome though.
Oh---and the music was good too. What I could pay attention to anyways. I'm more about injustice when I'm drunk apparently. But Jon Bon Jovi's chest was made to lick things off of, and even though I'm as old as like his career, I'd still hit that. I'd.hit.that.hard.on.a.weekday.
Hey, anyone catch that I worked the words "hard" and "on" up there? Alllllriggghhhhtttt.
Ok...so TV crap----Shear Genius finale was horrible. I got robbed. Vamp Diaries still rocks. Anthony Bourdain, my fourth soon to be ex husband went to Maine (shout out to Becs) and OMG---I would go to Maine, not even say hi to Becs, just go and eat and come back. Seriously. I would totally diss Becs, FREAKING BECS, who everyone knows has the best boobs on here, I would diss her for Maine food. It's that good. Other than that, I've just been watching Malcolm in the Middle reruns whenever I get a chance. I gave up on Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution. It made me angry that schoolkids are eating that crap----I want that crap! They shouldn't get to have fries and stuff if I can't. Jerks.
Books-So I'm all done with BDB, Immortal After Dark, Sookie and almost done with Maccarick bros series. We have a BDB book in a couple of weeks, then a Sookie one in May, then a new IAD one in August I believe. Maccarick bros books----written by same chick who did IAD books, but nothing paranormal in them. But hot. And about Scottish highlanders. And they say "doona" a lot. "I doona want you to just lick it." Nnnniiiiicccceeeee. There's only like three books, so do yourself a favor and just read them. I am almost all done with Kyrian's book on the Dark Hunters front. I'm still saying I'm not a huge fan yet. Although they did mention Acheron a couple of times so far in the book. I can't peg what it is I'm not digging yet---I think because I've been inundated with some really hawt smut lately, this toned down sort of smut (and dialogue so far is a bit cheesy) I'm not as great a fan yet. But I've been told it gets better, so I'm going to give it a few more books before I make a final decision. And then I have Midnight Breed series, Carpathians and Anita Blake still to try on. Someone mentioned "The Immortal Series". What is this? Is it teen? If so---freaking count me out lol. Twilight made it very clear to me that my mind is just a big smut filled ball, and I need more than a fade to black scene.
Fanfic---I'm almost all caught up. MOTU----geez, how much longer can they milk this one? Bella is pretty whiney in general in most everything, but this Bella GRATES on me. I want bad things to happen I tell you. If you guys aren't reading Expectations and Other Moving Pieces, you should. No lemons or anything *gasp, I know*, but the story----ugh.....angst to the max. The Training leaves me wanting something better, as in no way is it nearly as good as The Dominant or Submissive. AngstyG's Company Loves Misery and The Cannabean Betrothal (another non lemon one so far) are awesome.
Alright. I feel I've bored you enough, so to all I send you sloppy kisses and used underwear. (Speaking of which----to Jon Bon Jovi, who I know reads this, because he's such a Twi fan---can you give me back my undergarments? I know I threw them onstage for you and all, but those Hanes Her Way Queensize were my best pair---they only had one hole at the waistband---and now I'm relegated to wearing my "cleaning panties".)
Goddess of all things Nacho cheese
Senator of the great state of Indecency
Mistress of Manwich
pss---I finally picked the quote for my next tat. It's going to be on the inside of my arm, like between the elbow and wrist. It'll say Amor Fati (which is funny, since everyone thinks it means "love fatties") which is a quote by Nietzche simply meaning "love your fate". Yes, I was going to go the fanfic route and do Je Ne Regrette rien, which means "I have no regrets", but the fact is---I have a freaking ton lol, so it doesn't make sense for me to have it.
Oh twell. At least I didn't get the latin quote for "That is a big bowl of corn you have". I kid you not----it was on a website.
Last edited by obieewok
on Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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