Twilight Lexicon Discussion Forums

Edward: *races into the room* I have some terrible news!
Emmett: *shakes his head* I told you to switch to Geico a long time ago.


It's not the best, my funny is on mute lately.

Openhome wrote:Emmett bangs on a door in the Cullen house, jumping up and down with his legs tight together.

Emmett: Rosalie! Get out of the bathroom! I have to use it!

Nice one Kayla !!!

Thanks! I love your posts on the Alice page -- priceless!

The credit for the following does not come to me. I saw it on a cake.


Bella: You are pale white and ice cold.......I know what you are.
Edward: Say it.........Out loud.
Bella: Ice cream cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ringswraith wrote:Bella walks into the first floor and hears Edward on the piano. She zips to his side, listening, and frowns as she recognizes the music. "Edward? Why are you playing the theme to The Twilight Zone?"

"There is a fifth dimension," Edward begins, "beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone."

Emmett pipes up from the sofa. "Submitted for your perusal: Isabella Marie Swan, only daughter of Charlie and Renee, spirited away by her mother to Arizona when she could not stand the little town of Forks anymore. Years later Renee finds a new love, and Isabella- Bella- decides to move back to Forks and live with her father, Charlie. She's young, intelligent, and best of all, unattached." Someone snickers. "She didn't come looking for love, but finds herself strangely attracted to Edward Cullen, member of a family so strange that everyone at school gives them a wide berth.

"But are they really just strange, or is there more than meets the eye? Will Bella figure out the sinister truth before it's too late?"

Edward punctuated his brother's words with a very macabre-sounding dun dun dunn on the piano.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan- This is Your Life."

LOL I love it!!!!!!!

Also loved the harry potter one

Emmett and Jasper shove their way into the Cullen living room, grolwing fiercely and grappling over something in thier hands. The splinter two dining chairs, crush the coffee table, and nearly ram themselves into the big screen TV. The whole time, they are grunting and growling. Finally, Emmett gets Jasper on the ground and yells triumphantly, "I told you to leggo my Eggo, bro.!"
Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

Openhome wrote:Emmett and Jasper shove their way into the Cullen living room, grolwing fiercely and grappling over something in thier hands. The splinter two dining chairs, crush the coffee table, and nearly ram themselves into the big screen TV. The whole time, they are grunting and growling. Finally, Emmett gets Jasper on the ground and yells triumphantly, "I told you to leggo my Eggo, bro.!"
Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

LOL!!!!!!! very funny.

nice, Kayla.

~h. f. e. l.

Jasper: Alice what took you so long to find me.
Alice walks off fuming.

Bella: Edward will you buy the White House for me?

Bella: EDWARD!!! HURRY!!! COME HERE!!! *Bella rushes to Alice who is having a vision*
Edward: *panicked* What's wrong?!
Bella: I THINK ALICE IS WATCHING NEW MOON IN HER VISION! I NEED THE PLAY-BY-PLAY IN DETAIL! GO ON! READ HER MIND AND TELL ME!!
Edward:

Openhome wrote:Emmett and Jasper shove their way into the Cullen living room, grolwing fiercely and grappling over something in thier hands. The splinter two dining chairs, crush the coffee table, and nearly ram themselves into the big screen TV. The whole time, they are grunting and growling. Finally, Emmett gets Jasper on the ground and yells triumphantly, "I told you to leggo my Eggo, bro.!"
Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

LOL! Nice one Kayla