Gex X--the 30 something thread

skylarblue
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by skylarblue »

I'm sorry about all that you've been through. It always seems to me that when you don't plan or expect it, there you are pregnant. My son wasn't planned at all & by the time I realized/admitted I was pregnant it was too late. I wanted to put him up for adoption because I knew I was responsible enough to have a child but my mom & family said they would support me any way they could when they finally admitted that I was unmarried & having a child (that happend in the delivery room).

Well, I've supported my son on my own since the day he was born, his father ended up becoming a herion addict & committing suicide so, enough said on that.

I'm still hoping I can find a wonderful man to settle down with & have children but at my age (37), the prospects aren't good. No man in sight & the body getting to that point where having children isn't good.

So. my priority is to make good with what I got & it's difficult at times but I'm trying my best.
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by oleander »

Wow, i'm even more in awe of the resilience of the Gen Xers on here. I often wonder if perhaps our generation has suffered a lot more than people are willing to admit. Much like werewolves exist in Forks because vampires do, Grunge music existed for a reason ;) Or perhaps we're more vocal about our suffering and pain than our parents were. I know that my folks were deeply planted in denial for most of my life.

So, if i may put forth another question, just to satisfy my own curiosity (and nosiness):

What do you do for a living?
We've discussed educations, so do you do what you trained for? Are you one of the tireless millions who stay home with the kids (what would we do without you!!) or do you drag your butt to the office/workplace everyday? Are you a spy? A rock star? An underwater basket weaver? A student?

By day I work for a crown corporation as a quasi-office manager/graphic designer/underpaid grunt; by night i write and take classes at one of the local universities. I guess i do what I trained for...office admin and graphics...
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by pixiealice »

Gee, I went to college for 2 1/2 years studying psychology. I quit school when I got married. I decided psychology was not for me...I discovered I was more screwed up than my patients would be! I now work for my dad's company (for almost 12 years) and I run his office. So, I am absolutely not where I'd thought I'd be, but loving working 3 days a week for dad! This gives me the opportunity to be involved in my son's school (I am the PTA VP and loving being part of the craziness!) So, I look back and thank my lucky stars I didn't finish school.

skylarblue
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by skylarblue »

I graduated with a degree in psychology & now I'm an office manager for a trucking company. I work in a office by myself (so imagine how bored, I get, thank God for my Twilight & Harry Potter audiobooks). I'm basically the office manager/human resources admin/billing/payroll & whatever else they want me to do (an underpaid grunt like oleander).

So, I basically work 5 days a week, 8 hrs per day & only have free time on the weekends & that usually isn't enough. With taking care of my son, doing household chores & running errands, the weekend is over before I know it & off I go back to work.
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by jenni_elyse »

Oleander, my parents have also lived most of their life in denial. Unfortunately, so do some of my siblings.

What do you do for a living?

I work for a dental software company. I write training documentation for the software. So, basically, I'm a tech writer. I've been doing it for about five years now. However, I've worked for the company for almost nine years. Sometimes it's rewarding, but for the most part, I hate it. I think I'm just burned out and I want to do something more fulfilling with my life. Right now, it's just a way to pay our bills while my husband's company gets up and going. Once I can quit, I'll go back to school.
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by Goodnight Elizabeth »

My parents also live in denial. They never tell me when something happens back home. My sister was in the hospital for 4 days and I found out a week after she was back home. She wasn't upset with me because she knows how they are.

I'm the first person on my dad's side of the family to attend college, much less have 3 degrees. I have one cousin on my mom's side who has a degree. She's an Xray tech.

When I started college as a Freshman I knew I wanted to teach English. I planned on teaching High school. That is until I did my observations. I realized then I would go on and earn my Masters and teach at the college level. I stuck with English until I met a very intimidating professor who scared me into a History major. I was a history major for 5 weeks. I had all history classes the 2nd semester of my 3rd year. They were hard! That summer I had english classes again and felt at home.

6 years later, I'm teaching English at the college level, but it isn't what I expected. I'm not a full-time professor (FT is 5 classes - I teach 4). I like my classes, but I was expecting more freedom. I have freedom in my classes as long as I do exactly what I'm told and within specific parameters.

I would rather edit & proofread for a living. I worked on 2 school magazines as an editor. I love it.

Those of you who are like me and suffer from health issues, did you have a parent in a war? My dad is a Vietnam vet.
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by bac »

Once again, you women amaze me. You are so genuine and so strong. I appreciate hearing what you go through because it makes me stronger too.

I do not do what I was trained for (dance). I am a stay at home mom and volunteer at the school. I have done substitute teaching in the past, but not in this area (just moved to st. louis). I wish I could say I was an underwater basket weaver, doesn't that sound fascinating! I worked right out of college doing retail and bookkeeping for the retail store. I actually enjoyed working with money, even though I wasn't making very much of it. :( I will probably get a part time job within the next year or so since both my girls are in school. I wouldn't mind working in a bank with money again, but I would love to do something with dance if I could. I would have to get myself geared up for that though and back in dancing shape!

Interesting GNE. Are you thinking that your health issues are related to his exposure to something during the war?
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by Goodnight Elizabeth »

bac wrote:Interesting GNE. Are you thinking that your health issues are related to his exposure to something during the war?
Yes. I met a girl in college named Shaunda (she & I were taking the same Vietnam War Literature class) who is my age and suffered from many of the same things as I did...reproductively speaking. Her father was exposed to Agent Orange while in the Korean War. Shaunda and her husband struggled for years to get pregnant and then suffered a later-term miscarriage.

I then did my own research and discovered that there are many MANY women like me who also had dads exposed to AO. The birth defects of children (male & female) of dads exposed to AO follow a pattern:

1st child: Many really bad effects (thyroidism, mental retardation, infertility, misc birth defects)
2nd child: Still affected but usually a bit milder
3rd child: Mild if any effects

My younger sister, while in her 20's, was diagnosed with brittle bone disease and osteopeda. She had 2 babies before the doctors told her one more would kill her. She has several problems now, besides osteoporosis. In the last 3 years: gallstone surgery, hysterectomy, 36 months of calcium injections to abdomen; she's been diagnosed with fybromyagia (sp.) and severe acid reflux. She just turned 35.

Our dad fought in the jungles of Vietnam from 66-67.
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by bac »

Wow. That is really fascinating. I knew that there were lasting effects on the men, but I didn't realize that there would be so much that they could pass on to their children. Your family has suffered a lot because of this. I had no idea.
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Re: Gex X--the 30 something thread

Post by jenni_elyse »

Goodnight Elizabeth wrote:Those of you who are like me and suffer from health issues, did you have a parent in a war? My dad is a Vietnam vet.
Nope, neither of my parents are vets. My parents were born in the early 30s. Out of my 6 siblings and me, there are 5 of them that have children. My oldest sister had PCOS, but she didn't know about it because she was never interested in having children. When she was in her early 30s, she was diagnosed with uteran cancer. She had gone almost 20 years without a period, but never told anyone. If she hadn't gone to the doctor when she did, the doctor said that she would've been dead in six months. (She'd only gone to the doctor because she started spotting.)

I don't have PCOS, but I have some other long name disorder that keeps me from ovulating. My periods are very sporadic. I can be regular for a couple of months, but then go 3 or 4 months, or I've even gone 1.5 years, in between my periods. (About four years ago, I also had my period constantly for four months. I couldn't do anything about it at the time because I was traveling for work. Once I was finally able to go to the doctor, they had to do a DNC.) I have to take the pill to keep my regular, although my body fights with the hormones in it constantly. I've gone through several pills because they'd make me sick, make my periods last for more than a week, or cause endometriosis type cramping. I was on my second to last choice when I found the one I'm currently on. If it and the last choice hadn't worked, then I would've had to have a hysterectomy because I have a very high risk of uteran, cervical, etc. cancer.

At this point, there is no guarantee that I can or can't have children. However, there is a very low chance of it, especially coupled with my husband's issues. Honestly, though, we haven't really tried in the 10 years we've been married because we've had to deal with other things. Now, that it's been 10 years, I almost don't want children because I like my freedom, but I know that's just my coping mechanism. Once my husband's medical issues are dealt with, we'll start trying. If we can't, then we'll look into adoption when we can afford it. But, again, as I've said previously, right now we're not planning on having kids, so that if it doesn't happen, it won't be any more of a disappointment than it already has been.
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