Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Locked
♥midnight_sun♥
Riding in the Rabbit
Posts: 3406
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:57 pm
Location: Here, there, and everywhere in between.

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by ♥midnight_sun♥ » Tue Jun 02, 2009 5:11 am

Jen and Bri~ LOVED that! I was laughing like a hyena from that and Bri's post!

*Edward sitting in the cottage reading Interview with a Vampire*
Edward: And people say I'm a sad excuse of a vampire! Have people ever even read this book!?
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
*Edward and Bella on their honeymoon*
Bella: *takes deep breath* Edward, I'm pregnant.
Edward: :o :shock:

...Oh wait. That really happened.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Renee: Bella, Bella honey. You need to get up.
Bella: *tosses and turns in bed, still somewhat asleep* Edward....Edward. No don't leave me. You said we'd be-
Renee: Bella. *shakes Bella gently* Bella dear. Wake up.
Bella: Err...huh? What? Where am I? Why am I not in Forks with Charlie?
Renee: Oh. *laughs gently* honey, you leave today for Forks. You're in your room at home...in Phoenix. Who's Edward?
Bella: You... :cry: ...you mean it was a dream? :cry:
Renee: Yes, dear. You were sleeping.
Bella: :cry: Noooooo!!!!
-the next day-
Jessica: Have you heard about the Cullens?
Bella: No. Who are they?
Jessica: *explains who the Cullens are and points over to their table*
Bella: *looks over to their table* Oh.My.God. They're real...then that means...*whispers to self* I'm going to end up marrying a vampire and having his demon spawn.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Bella: Edward, I'm leaving you.
Edward: :shock: :o wh-what...why!? :cry:
Bella: I'm leaving you to be with Robert Pattinson.
Edward: WHAT!?
Bella: Well, he looks just like you except he's human, has better hair, and he has a British accent. :D
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
And....my brain died.
Fan Fiction Addict•The Halfway House and Brute Squad Member•Banner/Signature OCD
Image
Team Edward•JazzGirl's Official MiniMe•Cullenist•Keeper of the Names•Hatter Obsessed

DudeRocksTheTwilight
I'm A Proud Twilight Guy
Posts: 3825
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:05 pm
Location: Chugging the postahol. On MSN, most likely. Tieing Sarah in thunderball.

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by DudeRocksTheTwilight » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:07 pm

Edward: Rose, marry me!
Rose: But Edward-
*Gestures to Bella, who is close to Edward in bed*
Edward: *punches Bella in the mouth and pushes her off the mattress* Puh-leaze.
Rose: Sorry Edward.
Bella: *Gets up, and tries to lie next to Edward*
Edward: *Kicks Bella in the head* Get me a soda!
Bella: *Runs off*
Edward: *Nails Rose, she flies across the room. Runs off with Jacob.*

Once again...it's probably not too funny.
Image
Al Puccini of the Mafia, Santiago of Volturi, Major Peter of JCA, EDC Bulldozer Trainee, APPC Host Jenni - TwiGirl

ringswraith
Running with Leah 'cause she thinks I'm hawt
Posts: 4633
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:46 pm

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by ringswraith » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:18 pm

Bit of a crossover...

Cordelia Chase: So let me get this straight. This chick falls for a vampire, gets hunted by vampires, saves a vampire, and then ends up carrying demon spawn in her womb? So been there, done that.

JenTheWriter
Has Caught Sight of Edward
Posts: 1067
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:51 pm
Location: Moses Lake, Washington
Contact:

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by JenTheWriter » Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:53 am

^^ LMAO I LOVE Angel references!
"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised.
Image
Team Edward, Alice and Cullen! Swoonist. Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3's brain twin!

TeamEmmit
Settled in Forks
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:47 pm

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by TeamEmmit » Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:16 am

Human Bella: I'm going to the gym to work out!

I was listening to my audiobook while working out and I thought, "Man, why doesn't Bella ever have to work out? She eats pizza, mushroom ravioli, cereal, pop tarts, and granola bars, she apparently has a good bod cause all the guys want her AND she gets the perfect guy! Man, I should have been born a fictional character. ;)

Elle

Jadey
Resisting Temptation With Carlisle
Posts: 2723
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:43 pm
Location: New Zealand
Contact:

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Jadey » Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:40 am

Bella: Aww Edward, please stop crying. =[
Image
^ by ForJazz
Image
"Theres a lot of like, feminist issues with the book. Like, 'Oh, she's so devoted to him' and well yeah, she's in love with him"
- Kristen Stewart

DoNotFeartheDark
Banging Out Dents with Tyler
Posts: 388
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:01 pm
Location: WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by DoNotFeartheDark » Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:42 pm

DudeRocksTheTwilight wrote:Edward: Rose, marry me!
Rose: But Edward-
*Gestures to Bella, who is close to Edward in bed*
Edward: *punches Bella in the mouth and pushes her off the mattress* Puh-leaze.
Rose: Sorry Edward.
Bella: *Gets up, and tries to lie next to Edward*
Edward: *Kicks Bella in the head* Get me a soda!
Bella: *Runs off*
Edward: *Nails Rose, she flies across the room. Runs off with Jacob.*

Once again...it's probably not too funny.

I was laughing so hard at that :lol: :D

*Edward struts around*
Edward: 1234 baby you scream if you wants some more, say AHHHH push it push it. watch me work it. I'm worth it. PERFECT, perfect

that wasn't funny...stupid song....
-------------------------
Jasper: I want Edward, He's delicious
Emmett: NOO he's MINE!!
* pull on edward's arms*
Edward: NOOO I"M JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL!!!
Carlisle: BOYS, BOYS!! what is wrong with you??? fighting over Edward like that! * gestures to Jasper* you can have him on mondays, tuesdays, and Fridays *gestures to emmett* you can have him on wednesdays, thursdays and Saturday's
All three: what about Sunday?
Carlisle: Mike can have him
Edward: OOOhh i LOVE blondies!!
Bella: what about me?
*edward looks, punches her on the mouth*
Edward: GET ME SOME SMOKES!!!!!
Bella runs off
----------------------------
-at forks high school-
*mike passes Edward, smiles a pervy smile and waggles eyevrows suggestively*
Edward: *cringe* I HATE mind reading ability awesomeness
Bella: * looks at mike* :D *grins broadly* Think about it Edward. Your hotness breaks the gender barrier!
-------------------------
Edward: I LIKE MEN!!!
Rosalie: I SLAPPED ANGELINA JOLIE!
Carlisle: I PUT JASPER UP FOR ADOPTION!!
Bella: I MAKE OUT WITH A KEN DOLL!!
Emmett: I....want....BOOBIES!!!
Jasper: CUPCAKE!!!
Esme: I MADE OUT WITH ARO!!!
everyone: :shock: *scoots away*
Monica Romela, the Spaz of the Mafia; The Cheerful Assassin
Image Banner courtesy of Cullen_Lover
Co-Founder of ALESW; Awesome League of Extroadinary Skit Writers. Yes, it's sparkly.

Lacuna Scion
Fishing with Charlie
Posts: 848
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:05 pm
Location: Being the village idiot

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Lacuna Scion » Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:46 pm

DoNotFeartheDark wrote:Carlisle: I PUT JASPER UP FOR ADOPTION!!
I actually laughed out loud. Now I'm getting funny looks. :lol:
Team Leah - The Crappy Little Renegade Team | Team Esme
Image
Team Carlisle | Screw You Freaks! I pick Ben! | Volturi - Rosalind

DoNotFeartheDark
Banging Out Dents with Tyler
Posts: 388
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:01 pm
Location: WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by DoNotFeartheDark » Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:48 pm

Lacuna Scion wrote:
DoNotFeartheDark wrote:Carlisle: I PUT JASPER UP FOR ADOPTION!!
I actually laughed out loud. Now I'm getting funny looks. :lol:
:D
Monica Romela, the Spaz of the Mafia; The Cheerful Assassin
Image Banner courtesy of Cullen_Lover
Co-Founder of ALESW; Awesome League of Extroadinary Skit Writers. Yes, it's sparkly.

bodysnatcher
Teaching Eric Social Graces
Posts: 206
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:52 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by bodysnatcher » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:16 am

Edward: Bella love, will you...
Bella: THAT'S IT! ALL OF YOU IN THIS BOOK ARE A BUNCH OF SEXIST PIGS!!! I AM NOT YOUR MAID! I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEKEEPER! I AM NOT YOUR COOK! AND I AM NOT YOUR PROPERTY!! SO WHAT IF I LIKE TO SEE JACOB ON THE WEEKENDS? HMMM? IF YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST SET UP ALL OF THESE OPPRESSIVE RULES TO UNDERMINE MY FEMININITY AND TREAT ME AS YOUR SUBORDINATE YOU ARE MISTAKEN! HELLO EDWARD!!!! WE ARE NO LONGER IN THE VICTORIAN ERA! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MONEY, SUPERPOWERS, AND A STONE COLD **CK DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! THAT'S IT! I WILL NO LONGER CATER TO ANYONE!! STOP FORCING ME TO MARRY YOU!!! AND STOP GIVING ME THOSE EERY GLANCES AT MY WOMB!! OH! AND CHARLIE! COOK YOUR OWN DINNER!!!!
Everyone: :shock:
Edward: ...pass the remote... *sigh* :roll: is it the third week of the month already?
Image
"and the boy loved the tree"

Locked