Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

[jacobblacklover96]

Alice:How are you feeling, Jasper?
Jasper: I don't know.

[twilighter_alice]

Umm...

Rosalie:"Jacob, I going to knock you on your butt.
Jake: "You couldn't find where it was."
Rosalie: "Yeah, well, you smell funny."
Jake: "And you don't?"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[switzgal]

Edward to Jacob:

"What up DAWG??"

[cascsiany]

Bella: Alice I'm not going to Italy. You can just go save Edward yourself. I'm in love with Jacob.
Jacob: *sticks tongue out*

[blackblade0913]

Jacob: *in wolf form* *thinking* wow im tired i need a drink *gets back into human form and walks up to a store and looks at a sign in the window*
Sign in window: no shoes no shirt no service
Jacob: dang it *walks away*

[-Jasper]

Jacob's thoughts: "Oh no! Bella's falling off a cliff, help!!"
(meanwhile, Bella is safe at home)
(Edward comes running and jumps over the cliff, then emerges a minute later)
Edward: "You said you would stop doing that! It scares the life out of me"
Jacob: "Your face is priceless"


Jacob; "I have a confession"
Bella ;"Yes..."
Jacob; "I'm not really a werewolf, I actually morph into a giant bunny rabbit"

[museicalking]

oooooohhh.... this sounds kinda weird but i think im gonna say this wrong...

jacob has been trying to tell bella something for the past couple of days...

Jacob: Soo, bella...
Bella: Mmmh?
Jacob: Well... it turns out that...
Bella: That? Getting a bit anxious.
Jacob: Uhhh... Trying to stall.
Bella: Jacob!
Jacob: Fine! Ugh. Your so impatient.
(Bella's biting down on her lip while desperatly tapping her foot.)
Bella: Well... it seems that i can turn into different animals. (All in a rush) The other day i was getting really angry, and instead of a wolf... i turned to a .... bear. This morning... ironically i turned to mountain lion....
Bella: In shock. Mouth Open. Eyes Wide. But reality hit. What the HALE! Now what! Your gonna get killed! When emmett kills you... or edward... or even NESSIE! Ugh! And me...
Jacob: Well... till then.
Bella hissed.

Some time later...

Jacob comes home in scratches and is bleeding...
Rosalie has her hair messed up and clothes in shreds too...

Bella: Wow. Atleast your not dead. (She smiles.)

[PaulinhaBrasil]

While Bella was pregnant with Nessie…..

Rosalie and Jacob are bickering near the couch where Bella and Alice are chatting.
Bella: Alice, have you seen how Jake and Rose are fighting?… I’m worried.
Alice: I’ve noticed it. Do you want me to talk to Rose, I’ll make her swear to never kill Jacob?
Bella: Oh, I’m not worried about that.
Alice: Then what are you worried about?
Bella: Oh… Hmm.. (biting lip) Can a werewolf fall for a vampire?
Suddenly Jacob and Rosalie stop talking and, while trying not to show their curiosity, walk away from each other.

[G-Faerie08]

Nessie: I'm ready to take this to the next level.
Jacob: Okay. Let's get it on then!

Edward hears part of the mini-convo and comes bursting through the door.

Edward: Nessie, NOOOO!! *Tackles Jacob to the ground* I am going to rip you apart dog!!
Jacob: Dude, what the hell?!?! We're playing a game!!
Nessie:
Edward: *Looks over at the T.V. to see them playing Super Mario* Oops. My bad. Pretend that didn't just happen..

[heifergrl1]

Nessie: I'm ready to take this to the next level.
Jacob: Okay. Let's get it on then!

Edward hears part of the mini-convo and comes bursting through the door.

Edward: Nessie, NOOOO!! *Tackles Jacob to the ground* I am going to rip you apart dog!!
Jacob: Dude, what the hell?!?! We're playing a game!!
Nessie:
Edward: *Looks over at the T.V. to see them playing Super Mario* Oops. My bad. Pretend that didn't just happen..

LOL! I love it! I can totally picture that happening!