Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

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AshleyC
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by AshleyC »

vamp na hEireann wrote:
ShootingStar wrote:Bella: Hey Look! *gets glitter and pours over herself* I'mmm EDWARD CULLEN!


Jacob: Stop Bella! I have to tell you something...
Bella (wide-eyed): Yes Jake?
Jacob(evilly): I am your father!


Bella: I'm sorry Edward! I can't do this anymore! Theres...someone else..
Edward: What?! (appears physically and emotionally broken) Wha?! Who?
Bella: Cedric Diggory!


Bella: Wanna play a new game?
Edward: Sure! What is it?
Bella: Annoy the werewolves!
Edward: Annoy the-
*Bella pushes Edward over the treaty line*
Bella: HAHAH! *runs away*


Bella (singing): III kissed a wolf and I likeed iiitt!
Edward: WHAT?!
Bella: Errrrmmm...nothing...


Bella: *throws a stick* FETCH!
Jacob: Excuse me?!


Abi x
I literally laughed out loud at that...and now everyone is looking at me funny...
:oops: :? :lol:
I did also!
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Lacuna Scion
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Lacuna Scion »

xxsparklyvampiresxx wrote:Bella: I'm bored...
Edward: :?
Alice: *starts randomly singing* THE BEST TIME TO WEAR A STRIPED SWEATER, IS ALL THE TIME!
YES! That's amazing...

... while Bella and Edward are at the prom
Jasper walks in to a Alice's bathroom and sees her with a plunger at the toilet.
Jasper: Alice, what the heck are you doing?
Alice: Jaz, human memories fade; I don't even remember my own human life.
Jasper: That still doesn't explain what you're doing. What are you trying to remember?
Alice: How they work...
Jasper: :?
Alice: I flushed Bella's other stiletto down the toilet... it's all coming back, little by little.
Jasper: *slowly backs out of the room*

-------------------------

Edward walks into Cullen home after long day at school. Jasper is playing video games
Edward: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Jasper.
Jasper: Edward, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Edward: Since when, Jaz? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Jasper: Try and hit me, Edward.
Edward: What?
Jasper: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
*Edward walks down, both dance around each other, Edward slaps Jasper*
Jasper: Ow! That hurt.
Edward: Toldja.
Jasper: Don't judge me...

-------------------------

Edward is ever referred to as Eddie

-------------------------
*Bella meet the Cullen family for the first time*
Bella: I see dead people.
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LoveMeSomeEdward
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by LoveMeSomeEdward »

Lacuna Scion wrote:
xxsparklyvampiresxx wrote: -------------------------

Edward walks into Cullen home after long day at school. Jasper is playing video games
Edward: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Jasper.
Jasper: Edward, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Edward: Since when, Jaz? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Jasper: Try and hit me, Edward.
Edward: What?
Jasper: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
*Edward walks down, both dance around each other, Edward slaps Jasper*
Jasper: Ow! That hurt.
Edward: Toldja.
Jasper: Don't judge me...

-------------------------

Edward is ever referred to as Eddie

-------------------------
*Bella meet the Cullen family for the first time*
Bella: I see dead people.
Like that one lol!!

i thought of one its not funny but i shall still post :D

Edward: Bella i didn't write the lullaby for you, i wrote it for an ex of mine
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mandyb7
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by mandyb7 »

twilight_moon09 wrote:

(Bella's first hunting trip with just the guys...[with Edward, Jasper, and Emmett])

Edward: I'm not so sure about this...
Bella: Don't worry. I'll be fine.
Emmett: Yea Edward, lighten up. I'm sure Bella's a natural.
Jasper: Right, I mean, she's probably not better than us, but...
Emmett: Yea, hardly.
Edward: Well I know that, I'm just a little nervous for her.

Bella freezes mid-step.

Bella: :shock: What?
Edward: I mean, come on Bella. There's no way you could be better than us at hunting...
Emmett: Yea, we're guys.
Bella: From what I heard from Rose Emmett, you have a hard time finding ANYTHING. Has she been having a lot of headaches lately?
Emmett: WHAT?!? :oops: :evil:
Jasper: Bella, we didn't mean to offend you. We just know this to be true.

Bella: Yea well, "Anything you can do I can do better..."
Edward(laughing it off): Please...
Bella(poking him in the chest mad): "I can do anything better than you."

Jasper takes one big huff of air then takes off.

He comes back two seconds later in a flash with a deer in his mouth, he drops it to the ground mad.

Jasper: :evil: "No you can't.

Bella takes off a second later, only to return with two deers in her mouth. She drops them then crosses her arms.

Bella: "Yes I can!" :twisted:

Emmett gets infuriated and takes off next, returning with big grizzly bear in his mouth and hands. He drops it in front of him.

Emmett: "No you CAN'T!" :evil:

Bella rolls her eyes and takes off, and comes back a second later with a mother grizzly bear and a cub, then drops it pretending to check her nails.

Bella: "Yes I CAN!"

Edward is livid now. He takes off the quickest, returning a millisecond later with a full grown, male mountain lion in one hand, dragging a female and a cub in the other.

Edward(pissed): :evil: "NO. YOU. CAN'T!!!!!" :evil:

Bella takes off instantaneously, later returning with something big and furry in her hands.

Bella(excited): "YES I....... (looks down).....:o :shock:.....OH NO, JACOB!!!!!!!

I don't know if it was that funny, but it was pretty funny in my head.
RRRRRROOOOOFFFFFFFFLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahaha I was like where is this going? and then the Jacob thing at the end was awesome! sooooooo funny!
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by DoNotFeartheDark »

dandyvampgirl_13 wrote:Rawr, first post!
The entire SKITS thread would never ever happen...

And here's this one, based on the Kool Aid Dude...

Mike: *pokes Edward*
Edward: DON'T TOUCH ME, BEVERAGE!
Mike: :shock: :shock: :oops: :shock: :shock:

Does anyone get it..?
I Luv that skit from Dane Cook!!! My fave! I totally cracked up! LOL :lol: I can imagine Edward doing that
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by Jasper<3 »

Lacuna Scion wrote: Edward walks into Cullen home after long day at school. Jasper is playing video games
Edward: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Jasper.
Jasper: Edward, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Edward: Since when, Jaz? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Jasper: Try and hit me, Edward.
Edward: What?
Jasper: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
*Edward walks down, both dance around each other, Edward slaps Jasper*
Jasper: Ow! That hurt.
Edward: Toldja.
Jasper: Don't judge me...
I almost peed my pants!! That was amazing!!!
~~~~
Jasper: *In a Heath Ledger Joker voice* You wanna know how I got these scars? My father... *Bella interrupts*
Bella: Er... you already explained how...
Jasper: Oh... well... Why are you being so serious?
Emmett: Jazz, that's "Why so serious?". God, you're the worst Joker ever....
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by DoNotFeartheDark »

twilight_moon09 wrote:Cullen Family Movie Skit Night

Carlisle: So what will it be!
Esme: It's Emmett's turn to pick.
Emmett: I choose....*thinking* Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.
Carlisle: Harry Potter it is.
Emmett: Carlisle is Dumbledor. Esme you get to be Magonigal. Jasper you're Ron. I'm Harry. Alice you're Hermione. Rose you can be Fluer. Bella is Cho and Edward is Cedric.
Edward: Wait a minute. I think I've done this before. I have a weird sense of Deja Vu!
They all look at him.

OMG!!! That was so dang funny! lolz. I would've played Crumb...is that weird? Lolz.

Okay, lemme take a crack at it.

----
(Bella's first hunting trip with just the guys...[with Edward, Jasper, and Emmett])

Edward: I'm not so sure about this...
Bella: Don't worry. I'll be fine.
Emmett: Yea Edward, lighten up. I'm sure Bella's a natural.
Jasper: Right, I mean, she's probably not better than us, but...
Emmett: Yea, hardly.
Edward: Well I know that, I'm just a little nervous for her.

Bella freezes mid-step.

Bella: :shock: What?
Edward: I mean, come on Bella. There's no way you could be better than us at hunting...
Emmett: Yea, we're guys.
Bella: From what I heard from Rose Emmett, you have a hard time finding ANYTHING. Has she been having a lot of headaches lately?
Emmett: WHAT?!? :oops: :evil:
Jasper: Bella, we didn't mean to offend you. We just know this to be true.

Bella: Yea well, "Anything you can do I can do better..."
Edward(laughing it off): Please...
Bella(poking him in the chest mad): "I can do anything better than you."

Jasper takes one big huff of air then takes off.

He comes back two seconds later in a flash with a deer in his mouth, he drops it to the ground mad.

Jasper: :evil: "No you can't.

Bella takes off a second later, only to return with two deers in her mouth. She drops them then crosses her arms.

Bella: "Yes I can!" :twisted:

Emmett gets infuriated and takes off next, returning with big grizzly bear in his mouth and hands. He drops it in front of him.

Emmett: "No you CAN'T!" :evil:

Bella rolls her eyes and takes off, and comes back a second later with a mother grizzly bear and a cub, then drops it pretending to check her nails.

Bella: "Yes I CAN!"

Edward is livid now. He takes off the quickest, returning a millisecond later with a full grown, male mountain lion in one hand, dragging a female and a cub in the other.

Edward(pissed): :evil: "NO. YOU. CAN'T!!!!!" :evil:

Bella takes off instantaneously, later returning with something big and furry in her hands.

Bella(excited): "YES I....... (looks down).....:o :shock:.....OH NO, JACOB!!!!!!!

I don't know if it was that funny, but it was pretty funny in my head.
OMG!! That was funny!!! xD I loled when she caught jacob
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by DoNotFeartheDark »

These are all hilarious!!! I guna take a crack at it, but no garantees it will be good.


Caius: *sitting in his throne of Bitterness* :evil: Why can't we just go elminate Carlisle's clan NOW? We must aquire Alice NOW! Stop stalling Aro!!

Aro: Awww Somebody needs a hug!!

Caius: :x Don't touch me.

Aro: TIME FOR A GROUP HUG!!!!

Marcus: *with his "I really don't want to be here" face, sitting on his throne of No Emotions* :roll: Not again Aro,

Aro: YAY!! *grabs them out of their chairs into bear-hug*

Caius: I SAID DON"T TOUCH ME!!! :evil:

Marcus: :shock: OOF!!

Aro: *still hugging them* There. feel better now?

Marcus: :| Not really.

Caius: :x Let me go NOW!!

Jane and other guards: :lol: :lol:

Caius: You say anything, and you're all dead.

Guards: *louder* HAHAHAHA!! :lol:

Caius: SILENCE!! I KILL YOU!!

Aro: Hugs make EVERYTHING better!

Caius: Okay Barney, let me go now.

Aro: You're still angry!

Caius: I don't-I don't know this person. I'm not related.



That's all for now. I will come up with better ones. I know it's not good, but it was funnier in my head.
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by eliselovesedwardx »

^^That was so good! I can imagine that happening..Well I would like to think anyway..Even though I know it will never happen..:lol:
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Re: Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by brunetterebel010 »

*nods head in agreement with Elise*
it was funny it made me think of on MULAN where the little guy is angry and the big guy picks him up and makes him chant until he is calmed down...
i can see that

Random tiny person:*is angry at the world*
Emmett: *picks up tiny person* *rocks tiny person back and forth* *chants calming chinese words*...
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