Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

Post by **JenTheWriter** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:15 pm

who_needs_fangs? wrote:(The Cullens are watching House)
Jacob: She's really a testosterone-immune hermaphrodite with cancer in an undescended testes!
Cullens:
Jacob: Boo yah! In your face, Carlisle!

OME! That's just frickin too hilarous! And it's even more so because I can picture it and Carlisle being like, "What?!"

Post by **brunetterebel010** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:52 pm

Okay imagine Carlisle is a psychiatrist...

Calisle: HOw does that make you feel? WAIT! Don't tell me. Jasper! HOw does that make her feel???
Jasper: Sad, she's very sad.
CArlisle: Oh.. why specificall does that make you sad? WAIT! Don't tell me. Edward! Why does that make her sad?
Edward: BEcause her life is horrible ad her mother was a bum.
Carlisle: OH.. well I know how to fix this! ESME!! Come be mothering and solve the wacko's I mean Patients troubles!
Esme: Of course darling. (to patient) Come here dear, would you like a hug? *hugs patient* There there, it' will all be fine.
Carlisle: *whisper* Jasper is she feeling better yet
Jaspe: sure...*sarcastic nod* because this isn't creepy at all.
Patient(the whole time):

Carlisle: *thinking* Edward, how's she doing now.
Edward: *whispering* She is scared poopless, she is completely creeped out. You have only made this worse, she is going to bein therapy for the rest of her life, and NOT with you!!!
CArlisle: *wailing* Oh...I'm a failure, all I ever wanted to do was help!!!!! *collapses to floor*
Esme: *leaves patient* Carlisle dear, your not a failure, just because your father said those hurtful things to you doesn't make them true
Patient: Can..can you be my psychiatrist? Your good...
Esme: WHY? 'Because I tell people what they want to hear???
Patient: *squeaks* Nevermind

Website · Post by **sarah!** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:57 pm

^^

Great for team Carlisle!

Post by **purple_panda** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:08 am

cafeteria lady: would you like a cookie with your lunch?
edward:watch the commentary okay?!!! I DONT LIKE COOKIES!!!

completely random and not all that funny but i watched the movie w/ commentary today so...yeah

*emmett eats slice of pizza*
edward: emmett, vampires dont eat, what are you doing?
emmett: yeah ive been meaning to talk to you about that...im...well...im not a vampire, im just really old *takes off mask to reveal wrinkled face*
rosalie:

edward: are you serious?
emmett: *sniffle* ive been living a lie

Post by **squirreliemichelle** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:14 am

Jasper<3 wrote:
la_tua_cantante wrote:
Jasper<3 wrote: Emmett: (to Bella): I hope you die!!!
*Edward appears out of nowhere and growls*
Emmett: Sheesh, Edward, we're just playing Super Mario!
I literally LOLd at that! I wish I could come up with something for this!
Yay! More people like me!! (My friends would never believe this!)

Carlisle: Because tomorrow's another day, but im thirsty anyway, so bring on the rain!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mike: You know, Ive seriously been thinking about beating Cullen up after school. I can take him!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emmett: Rose has really let herself go lately.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Edward and Alice are staring at battleship boards) *complete silence*
Edward: Damn it Alice! You sunk my battleship!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Esme: Our house is too big!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Alice walks up to Jacob wearing plaid and polka dots)
Alice: I CANT SEE!!!! GO AWAY!!!!!
Jacob: Is that why you're wearing that?
Alice: No, its Cullen clash day.
*Carlisle walks by in the same thing as Alice*
Jacob: Ohhhhhh

I just choked on air because of the last one. You are amazing! I have one...

Bella: Edward I want a Divorce!
Edward:Errr...Vampires don't believe in that
Bella:WHAT! That’s like saying you don’t believe in the library!

Post by **~*teamswitzerland*~** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:21 pm

who_needs_fangs? wrote:(The Cullens are watching House)
Jacob: She's really a testosterone-immune hermaphrodite with cancer in an undescended testes!
Cullens:
Jacob: Boo yah! In your face, Carlisle!

OMG LOL! I saw that episode, too! lol

JenTheWriter wrote:OME! That's just frickin too hilarous! And it's even more so because I can picture it and Carlisle being like, "What?!"

LOL makes me think of that this:
You all know what part I'm talking about.

Okay, now I'm going to try one.

Emmett: *narrows eyes* Okay, Bear, you may have won this time...

Post by **heifergrl1** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:16 pm

I finally have thought of one!!!! I haven't posted one on here for a long time so I'm a little rusty at this, bear with me.

(Bella, Edward, and Emmett are in the car together on the freeway, Bella the driver)
Bella: What a lovely drive with the-OH MY GOD

!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emmett and Edward: What?!??! What's wrong?
Bella: Why is Edward on the Chip and Dale's billboard?!?!?
Edward: Bella its not what it looks like.
Bella: What are you talking about?!?!? You are on a stripper's billboard!!!! How is it not what it looks like?
Emmett: Well its not his fault.
Bella: Really?
Emmett: Yeah, he has been bringing sexy back since 1901. Why wouldn't he be on a billboard?
Bella: Well, I guess you have a point.
Edward: Good thing this is settled because I have 5 gigs this week and I'm working overtime.

Post by **ringswraith** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:52 pm

(Scene: Breaking Dawn, Isle Esme, in the bathroom as Bella realizes she's missed her period.)

Bella: (handing box of tampons to Edward) So much for being safe, huh?

Post by **Mrs.Edward_Cullen<3** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:53 pm

ringswraith wrote:(Scene: Breaking Dawn, Isle Esme, in the bathroom as Bella realizes she's missed her period.)

Bella: (handing box of tampons to Edward) So much for being safe, huh?

Good one ringswraith. Hmm...ok I'll try to think of one but I warn you I will end up sounding un-funny.

Edward: You better hold on tight spider monkey.

Emmett: No Edward not cool. You KNOW I'm Rose's monkey man you jocker. Pssh...I am the one and only monkey ok? Screw the human. And I don't mean that literally so don't get any ideas.

Post by **JenTheWriter** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:19 am

brunetterebel010 - That was frickin hilarious!

teamswitzerland - OMG, I was rolling. "Oh Christ ... now something else to feel inadequate about." LMAO that was hilarious. Size 10 feet aren't big. He's over 6 feet tall! That's actually pretty small in comparison to most guys over 6 feet.

~*~

(sorta gleened from Twilight: Wrong Answer! Thank you, ringswraith!)

Edward: What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the sidekick?
Bella: *raises an eyebrow* Wait, you're the side kick? *looks over at the Cullen table* Which one of them is the hero?
Edward: *looks over his shoulder and points at Jasper*
Bella: *winks at Jasper* Do you think you could introduce me?

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