Things that would never be said in the Twilght Saga

[-Jasper]

Nessie: I'm ready to take this to the next level.
Jacob: Okay. Let's get it on then!

Edward hears part of the mini-convo and comes bursting through the door.

Edward: Nessie, NOOOO!! *Tackles Jacob to the ground* I am going to rip you apart dog!!
Jacob: Dude, what the hell?!?! We're playing a game!!
Nessie:
Edward: *Looks over at the T.V. to see them playing Super Mario* Oops. My bad. Pretend that didn't just happen..

Hehe, this one's funny

[Ohtariel]

Okay, I'm just going to try one.

Bella and Leah walk into Charlie's house and see Charlie and Sue making out.
Bella: Dad?
Leah: Mom?
Charlie and Sue spring apart
Charlie: Um, yeah, we forgot to tell you.
Sue: We're getting engaged!
Bella and Leah: WE"RE GOING TO BE SISTERS!!!!

It's not good but I had to let it out.

[Wingtear]

Jacob in wolf-form: Miau...

I just cracked up by that, sugar-rush...

In the baseball clearing, talking to the nomads:
James: You brought a snack?
Edward: Yeah, doesn't she smell delicious? Leg or chest piece?
James: Can't I have a taste of both?
Edward: Sure, be my guest...

[G-Faerie08]

Jasper: Hey watch this..*Manipulates Jessica's and Lauren's emotions so they start making out*

Emmett: Sweet!! *Fist bumps Jasper*

Edward: You two are sleeze balls...*That is kind of hot though*

[ShootingStar]

Bella: Hey Look! *gets glitter and pours over herself* I'mmm EDWARD CULLEN!


Jacob: Stop Bella! I have to tell you something...
Bella (wide-eyed): Yes Jake?
Jacob(evilly): I am your father!


Bella: I'm sorry Edward! I can't do this anymore! Theres...someone else..
Edward: What?! (appears physically and emotionally broken) Wha?! Who?
Bella: Cedric Diggory!


Bella: Wanna play a new game?
Edward: Sure! What is it?
Bella: Annoy the werewolves!
Edward: Annoy the-
*Bella pushes Edward over the treaty line*
Bella: HAHAH! *runs away*


Bella (singing): III kissed a wolf and I likeed iiitt!
Edward: WHAT?!
Bella: Errrrmmm...nothing...


Bella: *throws a stick* FETCH!
Jacob: Excuse me?!


Abi x

[brunetterebel010]

Bella: Edward, can you speed up a little bit, you're going too slow!

*snort* I found this funny, but thats probably because I can find innuendo (spelling?) in anything anyone says ever.....

[heifergrl1]

Bella: Hey Look! *gets glitter and pours over herself* I'mmm EDWARD CULLEN!


Jacob: Stop Bella! I have to tell you something...
Bella (wide-eyed): Yes Jake?
Jacob(evilly): I am your father!


Bella: I'm sorry Edward! I can't do this anymore! Theres...someone else..
Edward: What?! (appears physically and emotionally broken) Wha?! Who?
Bella: Cedric Diggory!


Bella: Wanna play a new game?
Edward: Sure! What is it?
Bella: Annoy the werewolves!
Edward: Annoy the-
*Bella pushes Edward over the treaty line*
Bella: HAHAH! *runs away*


Bella (singing): III kissed a wolf and I likeed iiitt!
Edward: WHAT?!
Bella: Errrrmmm...nothing...


Bella: *throws a stick* FETCH!
Jacob: Excuse me?!


Abi x

LOL. Love it Abi! I just PMed you back btw.

-Elizabeth

[Jasper<3]

Bella: Edward, can you speed up a little bit, you're going too slow!

*snort* I found this funny, but thats probably because I can find innuendo (spelling?) in anything anyone says ever.....

heh heh... I see it too... heh heh...

[chach]

omg things like that happen at my lunch table every day *shudders*

[LoveMeSomeEdward]

Bella: Hey Look! *gets glitter and pours over herself* I'mmm EDWARD CULLEN!


Jacob: Stop Bella! I have to tell you something...
Bella (wide-eyed): Yes Jake?
Jacob(evilly): I am your father!


Bella: I'm sorry Edward! I can't do this anymore! Theres...someone else..
Edward: What?! (appears physically and emotionally broken) Wha?! Who?
Bella: Cedric Diggory!


Bella: Wanna play a new game?
Edward: Sure! What is it?
Bella: Annoy the werewolves!
Edward: Annoy the-
*Bella pushes Edward over the treaty line*
Bella: HAHAH! *runs away*


Bella (singing): III kissed a wolf and I likeed iiitt!
Edward: WHAT?!
Bella: Errrrmmm...nothing...


Bella: *throws a stick* FETCH!
Jacob: Excuse me?!


Abi x

LOL. Love it Abi! I just PMed you back btw.

-Elizabeth

All those quotes are funny, love it, especially the Cedric Diggory one!! And the annoy the werewolves one!!