Bella Swan Cullen #3

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holdingoutforjacob
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by holdingoutforjacob »

Okay. Thank you for answering my question, but for some reason, I'm just not getting it. I'm sure it's my fault, but, just so we're clear:

You're saying that you don't think that Bella ever had any romantic love for Jacob? Only platonic? If so, I disagree.

If you're saying that Bella wasn't in love with Jacob as much as she was with Edward, then we all agree and have from the beginning.

I think Bella fell in love with Jacob, and Jacob with Bella, in the deepest way one human can fall in love with another human.
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diane771
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by diane771 »

Did Bella get all dreamy eyed over Jacob? Did she almost faint when he kissed her? Did Bella tell Jacob he was the only one? Well of course not. These are things you say and do when you are first in love with someone. Bella never felt this way towards Jacob and she knew she never would. She would be settling for Jacob and he was playing on her emotional state. A best friend doesn't do that so I really think when Bella looks at it later in life she will see all the malnipulation that Jacob was doing in Eclipse and yes she is to blame to but she was not doing it because she loved Jacob in a way that a woman loves a man that they want to spend their life with. She was playing a game and it was a horrible one at that. I can see why Jacob was frustrated and Edward too, but it doesn't come down to the word love as a man and woman more like a best friend to best friend
it would be that sometimes people just see things differently, and it has nothing to do with "experience"?
I see it and its not just you that I am saying this to, the fans of Jacob and wanting Bella to pick him are of a younger age and that is where I draw the conclusion that if they had more experience they could see the difference in the love of Edward and Jacob in Bella's eyes. Thats all, and you can say all you want, but until you are there in the same shoes, you don't really know the difference as someone who has. That is just logical and you can shoot it down but it makes sense if you lose the Jacob shades and see things with a more open mind. I try to but he pushed himself on her too many times for me to think that it was a gradual love. The Kiss, Him telling about the motorcycles .........
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vampirenerd
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by vampirenerd »

Well, I definitely won't disagree that Jacob pushes himself on Bella. He knows that she's not emotionally over Edward but, while we and Bella might realize that she will never really get over Edward, Jacob doesn't see it like that. He thinks that eventually she will get over him and be able to have another relationship. He doesn't have that insight into Bella's thoughts and feelings that we do.

At the same time I have to disagree with you on one point. Just because Bella wasn't dreamy eyed and almost fainting around Jacob doesn't necessarily mean she didn't love him or wasn't in love with him. We have all agreed that she loved Edward in away that she could never love someone else but that doesn't mean that she didn't love Jacob at all or wasn't in love with him. I have to admit that I never had that doe-eyed, butterflies in the stomach, fainty feeling of love with my husband. We started off as friends (like Bella and Jacob) and eventually it grew to love. My love for him is based on companionship, that feeling of safety I have with him, and knowing that we have SO many things in common. I know that I love him more than I have ever loved anyone and will continue to do so. Does that make my love for him any less because I was never dreamy eyed? Or almost fainted when he kissed me? Just because it's not love at first sight and just because the love grows from spending time together and starting as friends doesn't make it any less true or less meaningful.
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diane771
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by diane771 »

No, I agree with you about the way your husband, and your love grew, that is the way most love grows. But I do believe it can be different, and is, when you find your soul mate. Most people do not and they live happy fulfilled lives, but if you met your soul mate, and knew how intense and strong that feeling it is, then it would be so much harder for you to settle on just real love. I am serious about this, and do not mean to demean any love, but the soul mate is something on a different level if you are getting what I am trying to say. This is why Bella could never be completely happy with Jacob, part of her would not belong to Jacob. If Bella hadn't met Edward, and if they did fall in love and I do find that a stretch, then she would not have that type of love to compare with. This is also why I believe there is only one true soul mate. If you never find it, then you fall in love like everyone, and you are happy, and its not less meaningful its just different. I don't believe that Bella was even that close to Jacob to think about planning a future with him anyway. She was oposed to marrying Edward, and so what makes anyone think that she would be with Jacob. I don't think so. I see her going to college, and making something of herself, and that doesn't leap to Jacob being her mate if Edward wasn't there or didn't come back.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by Jazz Girl »

Yes, I believe that Bella's love for Jacob was much more platonic than romantic. Bella's primary attraction to Jacob was the comfort and friendship that she felt for him. Given time, and had Edward not returned, might it have grown into romantic love. Possibly. I don't deny that. But, the feelings that Bella had for Jacob, even in Eclipse, had much less to do with her heart and soul, and much more to do with his comfort and emotional state. That's one of the essential differences between platonic and romantic love.

As for the human argument.... well.... Jacob wasn't exactly the quintessential human, was he? But, that's a debate for a different forum.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by vampirenerd »

Well, I'm still going to have to say that I believe that just b/c my love with my husband started out as friendship doesn't mean he isn't my soul-mate. I guess from what I'm understanding from your post is that if you don't automatically fall in love it means they aren't your soul-mate. I don't personally believe in love at first sight so I have to disagree with that. I truly believe my husband is my soul-mate (though I'm not saying that means Jacob is Bella's soul-mate).

Back to Bella though, I truly feel that she would've been with Jacob if Edward hadn't come back and she had had enough time to half-way get over him. I'm not going to say that she would ever get over Edward completely, nor that she would've jumped right into marriage with Jacob. I've said from the beginning that her love for Jacob is based more on friendship and being comfortable together. I just think that, given that Edward never came back, they would've been able to turn that friendship into something more.

I do also agree that Jacob's not the best example to use in a human discussion lol.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by Jazz Girl »

Oh! No, no no. Please don't misunderstand me. I don't mean to say that at all. Sometimes, we find our soul mate in the unlikeliest places. My contention is merely that Bella had only one true soul mate, and it was Edward. Yes, she loved Jacob, and was, in a way, in love with him. But, it was not ever on the same level with what she had and felt for Edward because he was, in fact, her one and true soul mate. He was, quite literally, the other half of her. She didn't work without him and he didn't work without her. The were stronger together than they ever could be apart, specifically because they completed each other.

The contention is made that Jacob was also her soul mate, in a world where the magical didn't exist. I might be convinced of that. But, we don't ever glimpse that world. The world we see is full of magic and myth and Edward and Jacob are BOTH magical creatures, neither any more or less human than the other. So, the only soul mate that matters in the discussion is the one she chose.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by vampirenerd »

Sorry Jazz...I should've specified that my post was in response to Diane not you lol...

I completely agree that her love for Jacob would never have been the same as her love for Edward. We can only assume that IF Edward never came back Bella and Jacob MIGHT have eventually gotten together because she did in some way love him. I was merely replying to Diane's post b/c the way I took it she was saying that if you don't immediately fall in love, and you start out with a friendship that grows to love, that means you aren't soul-mates. I will agree that Jacob could never be Bella's soul-mate b/c Edward already took that place. I just wanted to point out that, while it would never be as strong as her love for Edward, it would be possible for her love for Jacob to grow and for her to be happy.
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diane771
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by diane771 »

I thought that was what I was saying since the first post of mine. My example of dreamy eyed and heart stops, were in reference to the feelings that Bella had with Edward, v/s her feelings for Jacob. They continue even when they were married, and have Nessie. I am not demeaning and saying that your marriage or anyone's is less, only that some people do fall in love at first sight. I would not, but that bond was there with Edward and not with Jacob. Can you say that your husband does not make your heart race? Back to the point, I think Jazz and I are saying even after Eclipse Bella was a long way from "being in love with Jacob" and that she loved him but there are many types of love. I don't think she would have given up everything for Jacob. I think she would have gone to college, and who knows where she would end up. This is why I say this because some people are so positive that Jacob and Bella would be together if Edward was not in the picture or never came back. I just find it a large leap to come to that. Thats all.
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Re: Bella Swan Cullen #3

Post by vampirenerd »

Well, I guess we'll have to agree to disagree lol. Because I do think that given Bella's nature and how she likes to please everyone, that if Edward never came back she would have ended up with Jacob. She knew it would make him extremely happy and I do believe she was in love with him, though not as much as Edward. She knew from hanging out with Jacob and starting to fall in love with him that she could be mostly happy. It's like she says, Jacob started to heal that hole that Edward left and I think with enough time he could've had it mostly healed. I'm not saying she would've ever been over Edward but I do think she would've been happy with Jacob. I agree that she would've went to college and all that but I still see her coming back to Jacob if Edward never came back. I personally don't see it as that big of a leap from her being such good friends with Jacob, starting to fall in love with him, and being happy to ending up with him. But that's my opinion and like I said I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree... :D
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