Edward Cullen #2

[Kachiti]

Okay now people are saying that edward should have been more open and talked to her in eclipse. This is true i believe. But i think we need to remember that Edward is a guy and they have a hard time sharing their feelings. Even edward has this problem. He was probably scared how Bella might react or he just didn't know how to truly express himself. So when it came to fooling aroungd the truck well i guess this was the only way he knew at the time. Does this make it right? No but it might give us a reason to why he acted this way.


Now i found this part hilarious in the book! And i still do. I really don't see it as meaning to be abusive.

I was slightly angry but also wished that Bella had a backbone and had kept the window closed.


To go a little off topic, has anyone read the outtake version of the prom remix on SM website ? I think I like it better then what's in the book. Just when I think Edward couldn't get any better.

[Destani]

Regarding Edward being abusive:
I think abusive is too strong of a word for me to use personally in this situation but he did go through a very controlling period with Bella. His refusal to even consider the possibility of her seeing Jacob was extremely controlling and in my opinion wrong, although I understand his reasoning. I agree with HOFJ that he should have been more honest and open with Bella about his reasons and they could have discussed it and come to a compromise sooner. But this is a flaw that I see in Edward. He was constantly hiding things from Bella or telling her half-truths. He always had good intentions but he was rarely completely honest with her.

Regarding Edward's relationship with Jasper:
Again I'm going to agree with HOFJ and say that Emmett and Edward have been brothers longer and Jasper was a newer addition to the family. I also think it has something to do with the difference between Emmett and Jasper's personalities. Emmett is very outgoing and happy and easy to befriend. Jasper is quiet and thoughtful and seemed to keep his distance from the family. Jasper is mainly there for Alice. He likes the Cullens but I don't think he would have made the choice to stay with them on his own.

Regarding becoming a vampire:
I think if I were in love, I could deal with that pain to stay with that person forever. I also look at it from the point of view that the pain would only last for 3 days and then I'd have a life that was basically free of all physical pain. As a human, I suffer through injury and disease and even just regular monthly cramping and all that pain would be gone. However I wouldn't choose to be a vampire unless it was for someone I truly loved. I think immortality has it's draw backs, but I won't make you suffer through my ramblings on that. Besides that would get way off topic.

[navarre]

Regarding Edward being abusive:
I think abusive is too strong of a word for me to use personally in this situation but he did go through a very controlling period with Bella. His refusal to even consider the possibility of her seeing Jacob was extremely controlling and in my opinion wrong, although I understand his reasoning. I agree with HOFJ that he should have been more honest and open with Bella about his reasons and they could have discussed it and come to a compromise sooner. But this is a flaw that I see in Edward. He was constantly hiding things from Bella or telling her half-truths. He always had good intentions but he was rarely completely honest with her.

Regarding Edward's relationship with Jasper:
Again I'm going to agree with HOFJ and say that Emmett and Edward have been brothers longer and Jasper was a newer addition to the family. I also think it has something to do with the difference between Emmett and Jasper's personalities. Emmett is very outgoing and happy and easy to befriend. Jasper is quiet and thoughtful and seemed to keep his distance from the family. Jasper is mainly there for Alice. He likes the Cullens but I don't think he would have made the choice to stay with them on his own.

Regarding becoming a vampire:
I think if I were in love, I could deal with that pain to stay with that person forever. I also look at it from the point of view that the pain would only last for 3 days and then I'd have a life that was basically free of all physical pain. As a human, I suffer through injury and disease and even just regular monthly cramping and all that pain would be gone. However I wouldn't choose to be a vampire unless it was for someone I truly loved. I think immortality has it's draw backs, but I won't make you suffer through my ramblings on that. Besides that would get way off topic.

Execellent points, Destani. I also want to note, providing that it hasn't been noted in an earlier post, that Edward did realize that his actions would actually endanger Bella more, so he backed off. He may have had some continuing probelms with her being around Jacob, but for the most part, he changed his attitude towards Bella seeing Jacob, especially after he and jacob talked about Bella going to La Push for her safety until they could figure out who was in her room -so forth.

As far as Edward being abusive - NO he was NOT!! Like the person from the earlier post, I too, know what abuse is, I was married to a horrific man for 15 years, and let me tell you, when you can not even meet your best girlfriend for lunch or even dinner to chat and catch up without him calling every few minutes to see where you are and accusing you of being a "Vulgar Language Is Ugly" because your 10 minutes later getting home than planned, having a .357 put to your head with your two year old in your arms. You lose your job and if you are not out beating the concrete everyday, all day, you are lazy and worthless when you just need to rest for a day - you get the point.

That's ABUSE. Always having to live up to the 'slug' your married to while he's the one screwing around, drinking all day and he's laid off and won't get work and then he accuses you?! - the guilty dog barks loudest!! Finally, 11 1/2 years ago, I HAD ENOUGH. Scared half out of my mind with a ten year old and making 7.50/hr - I left and never looked back. There are all kinds of subtle and in-your-face abusive situations, but Edward's crime here is being to controlling(out of fear for Bella) and not handling this right at all.

At the end of the day, he's is still a good man to me and the best thing in Bella's life - faults and all.

BTW, I'm not saying this out of any anger - truly - I'm just trying to make my point for what that was even worth and I apologize for using this wonderful forum to vent in a personal manner.

[KaseyHeartEdward]

Regarding Edward being abusive:
I think abusive is too strong of a word for me to use personally in this situation but he did go through a very controlling period with Bella. His refusal to even consider the possibility of her seeing Jacob was extremely controlling and in my opinion wrong, although I understand his reasoning. I agree with HOFJ that he should have been more honest and open with Bella about his reasons and they could have discussed it and come to a compromise sooner. But this is a flaw that I see in Edward. He was constantly hiding things from Bella or telling her half-truths. He always had good intentions but he was rarely completely honest with her.

Regarding Edward's relationship with Jasper:
Again I'm going to agree with HOFJ and say that Emmett and Edward have been brothers longer and Jasper was a newer addition to the family. I also think it has something to do with the difference between Emmett and Jasper's personalities. Emmett is very outgoing and happy and easy to befriend. Jasper is quiet and thoughtful and seemed to keep his distance from the family. Jasper is mainly there for Alice. He likes the Cullens but I don't think he would have made the choice to stay with them on his own.

Regarding becoming a vampire:
I think if I were in love, I could deal with that pain to stay with that person forever. I also look at it from the point of view that the pain would only last for 3 days and then I'd have a life that was basically free of all physical pain. As a human, I suffer through injury and disease and even just regular monthly cramping and all that pain would be gone. However I wouldn't choose to be a vampire unless it was for someone I truly loved. I think immortality has it's draw backs, but I won't make you suffer through my ramblings on that. Besides that would get way off topic.

Execellent points, Destani. I also want to note, providing that it hasn't been noted in an earlier post, that Edward did realize that his actions would actually endanger Bella more, so he backed off. He may have had some continuing probelms with her being around Jacob, but for the most part, he changed his attitude towards Bella seeing Jacob, especially after he and jacob talked about Bella going to La Push for her safety until they could figure out who was in her room -so forth.

As far as Edward being abusive - NO he was NOT!! Like the person from the earlier post, I too, know what abuse is, I was married to a horrific man for 15 years, and let me tell you, when you can not even meet your best girlfriend for lunch or even dinner to chat and catch up without him calling every few minutes to see where you are and accusing you of being a "Vulgar Language Is Ugly" because your 10 minutes later getting home than planned, having a .357 put to your head with your two year old in your arms. You lose your job and if you are not out beating the concrete everyday, all day, you are lazy and worthless when you just need to rest for a day - you get the point.

That's ABUSE. Always having to live up to the 'slug' your married to while he's the one screwing around, drinking all day and he's laid off and won't get work and then he accuses you?! - the guilty dog barks loudest!! Finally, 11 1/2 years ago, I HAD ENOUGH. Scared half out of my mind with a ten year old and making 7.50/hr - I left and never looked back. There are all kinds of subtle and in-your-face abusive situations, but Edward's crime here is being to controlling(out of fear for Bella) and not handling this right at all.

At the end of the day, he's is still a good man to me and the best thing in Bella's life - faults and all.

BTW, I'm not saying this out of any anger - truly - I'm just trying to make my point for what that was even worth and I apologize for using this wonderful forum to vent in a personal manner.

I am really sorry you had to go through this. And i am glad you were able to get out of that. You are a very brave person.

[holdingoutforjacob]

you know what? whether or not we think what happened with edward was abuse is personal, very personal, and i propose that because it is such a scary tough subject, we leave that definition out of the discussions.

i understand that it would have been hard for edward to tell bella that. i understand that edward would not have wanted to be with jacob. but you know what? cry me a river.

think of what edward was demanding of bella? what he was expecting her to give up? and it would be too hard for him to sit in the same room and be civil with someone? i'm sorry, edward can have his feelings and his worries all he wants, but he's asking a LOT more than he's giving.

pubesy: yes, ok, he hadn't acknowledged his jealousy, but my point still stands doesn't it??

i hate nit-picking!

[navarre]

Thank you, Destani. After that, I truly hope no one thinks I've got issues. I really do not. I'm sort of embarrassed about that 'little display' Anyway, I think Edward is a wonderful man and I would love to have an"Edward" in my life.

I'm re-reading Eclipse, and I love the part when Rosalie tells Bella not to give Edward to hard a time, because he loves her so and it truly frightens him when he is away from her. He is so terrified of losing her and I really think that his poor judgement call in New Moon messed him up just as bad as it did her. He carries the guilt of that whole episode and that coupled with the thought that she could be harmed by Jacob if he phased in anger really scares the heck out of him. He is truly a great guy with a beautiful and pure heart towards her - faults and all and I think she really sees that and that is what makes this love story so cool with me along with other points of reference that I can not recall at this very moment but probably will in the middle of the night.

[holdingoutforjacob]

i agree with you there navarre.

gosh, i just wish that it had been addressed in the book that what edward did was REALLY BAD. out of the entire series, that's the one part that i think sends a bad message.

[Esme echo]

I think Edward was guilty of abusing modern rules of respectful treatment--but not of abusing Bella.

Edward was born in an age when women had very few rights. (e.g. the federal law granting women the right to vote wasn't ratified until 1920.) The standard of behavior was: men ruled their homes, their wives, and their children. What they decided was legally and morally the end of the matter.

Carlisle was born in an even more repressed era--from a woman's point of view. Esme was born in 1895. Carlisle impresses me as a modern kind of guy who would never order Esme around, but we're talking about a family core here firmly rooted in eras that did not recognize women's rights.

My point is: under stress, I'm not surprised that Edward reverted to the behavior he grew up with. He was out of line with Bella at the beginning of Eclipse, no question. BUT he was freaked out over Bella's death, the events in Volterra, Bella's relationship with immature werewolves, and Victoria's attacks! In classic Edward style he overreacted. Also in classic Edward style, as soon as he realized he was really out of line, he did a 180.

I think for a turn-of-the-century man, he coped remarkable well. I think Bella realized he was genuinely frightened and her attitude helped him gain perspective rather than causing him to dig his heels in.

In re-reading Eclipse the other day, I was more impressed than previously concerning Bella's stand against Edward after she came home from Angela's to an angry Edward (Eclipse, pp. 140-144). Edward tried to lay down the law to prevent Bella from seeing Jacob again and she absolutely refused to accept his directive. Edward said, "I'm not negotiating on this, Bella," and she replied, "Neither am I." Then came the famous Switzerland statement: "...I want you to know something -- when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythological creatures."

Bella never backed down from that declaration, and Edward finally got it.

[holdingoutforjacob]

oh please. the excuses are like the fountain of youth - endless and everflowing.

nothing makes what edward did OK. and the communication left MUCH to be desired. bella's attitude, if it had been stronger in the beginning, could have eliminated the entire thing. and the fact that edward thinks he has a right to say "i'm not negotiating on this bella" is ridiculous.

[Esme echo]

You might take a moment to recognize, HOFJ, that I was not excusing Edward's behavior. I was explaining where I thought it came from.